Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019

It is now December 28, three more days before it becomes the first of January, can you believe that? Since the end of September, it seems as though the rest of the year has been going by faster and faster. Or is it just me who feel this way?

I would like to push the pause button and take the time to reflect on the goals I'd  created for myself in the beginning of the year and compare it to the goals I accomplished so far.

Goal #1: To make sure I post a new article every month

As we sit in December, I have not skipped a month and I hope to continue the trend next year

Goal #2: Survive Spring 2018 semester

I say this because the classes I needed in order to graduate on time, they were scheduled at random times and made it impossible to earn enough money from my job to save for bills and additional activities. Also, I was taking a very intensive English course. I survived with a C in that course, and A in another, and Bs in the others. I did this all while having broken nails throughout most of the semester.

Goal #3: Go on vacation to a different state that I haven't visited yet

Well I was not financially able to make that possible this year, but I was able to go to Ocean City, Maryland that I haven't been too in years.

Goal #4: Enroll, pay for, and survive my summer classes

Over the summer I had to take a core class for my psychology concentration and statistics for my psychology degree. Both classes were very intense and took over my entire summer. I don't even feel like I had a summer break. At the end, I passed both classes.

Goal #5: Collaborate with other writers

In the very beginning of either January or February, a member of one of the writer's groups I'm in On Facebook mentioned that we should create an anthology for a charity. I mentioned my interest from the very beginning and soon became one of the editiors for it. The book is at it's final editing stages before publication and one of my poems will also be included.

Goal #6: Celebrate year #1

Me and my boyfriend make it one year together with no breaks. This is the longest relationship for both of us. We will be celebrating year #2 soon. Who knew I would gain something great and long-term on Tinder?

Goal #7: To become UMBC's intern of the week and gain my Professional Edge Badge

I was mentioned as the intern of the week during the week of October 26 and was featured on the UMBC Career Center page. And two weeks ago, I finally received my Professional Edge Badge and Certificate

Goal #8: Grow my hair pass bra length and keep it that way

All year, I've been looking for new ways to keep my hair moisturized and stop breakage from taking place when my hair reaches a certain length. Since the beginning of the Fall Semester, I've been washing my hair once per month and moisturize it every couple or a few days apart. So far my hair has been breaking off less and I just might reach my goal by my graduation date.

Goal #9: Find a way to pay for my senior year of college without having to pull out a loan

With the help of my grandmother, I am currently able to make this a reality.

Goal #10: Finish Fifty Shades Freed before seeing the movie

I finished the book but realized that I didn't see Fifty Shades Darker the year before. I have now seen that movie but still in need to seeing the actual movie I intended on watching.

From the goals I mentioned having for the year and achieving most of them, I can come to the realization that this year was very rewarding for me and all my hard work has been paying off. I'm going to keep this positive energy with me as we enter 2019.

As you reflect on the goals you made this year, how many were you able to accomplish so far?

Now that we have reflected on 2018, it's time to move forward to the goals we have for next year. What are your new goals? What goal are you taking with you into 2019 and which ones are you leaving behind in 2018? And what are your new goals for the upcoming year?

For me, these are my goals I'm bringing with me in 2019:

Goal #1: Collaborating with other writers and have the anthology published

Goal #2: Continue writing new articles each month

Goal #3: Find a way to pay for my senior year of college without pulling a loan

Goal #4: Grow my hair pass bra length

Goal #5: Go on vacation or travel in a different state/ place that I haven't visited yet

I don't have any goals to leave behind because the ones I didn't mention bringing with me in 2019 are the goals I already accomplished, but I do have new goals I want to work on and accomplish in 2019.

Goal #1: Graduate with my B.A.s and Concentration in May

Goal #2: Start my Youtube Channel

Goal #3: Finish the rest of the chapters of my  memoir

Goal #4: Start on the editing and publications for the memoir

Goal #5: Start on the editing and publications for my children's books

Goal #6: Go back to doing Spoken Word and do book readings for both the memoir and children's books

Goal #7: Work on getting my license

Goal #8: Restack my savings account

Goal #9: Read more books

Goal #10: Going back to the gym and start eating healthier meals while maintaining my weight

These goals I've mentioned bringing to 2019 may seem like a lot of goals to accomplish in just one year, but many of these goals I've been working towards during pervious years including this one. The reason why I was able to acheive a lot of my goals this year was because everyday I thought about these goals I made while waking up each day to complete tasks to lead me to succession of accomplishing my goals. You can do the same with the goals you are bringing and creating for the new year to come. I will also suggest you to write your goals down and place them in locations that you will see them daily. I will also suggest making a vision board as well. I plan to talk more on these topics next year on different platforms.

 I hope you know your goals for the year are more than simple New Year Revolutions, these are goals to lead you to the lifestyle you want to live in your near future. I hope to see you all next year and possibly through more than one form of media.

Happy Holidays and happy New Years!

It's About D*mn Time I Get Some Planned Me Time!

Picture found on Pinterest 

          The weather is getting cooler, assignments from professor are piling up faster, people, in general, are starting to get on my very last nerves, and I realized that I just needed some well planned me time.

          I've been doing good with time management when it comes to staying on top of all of my assignments since the start of my senior year in college and completing all the responsibilities expected of me at my job and side activities I’m involved in while trying to have a social life. But while trying to create plans with friends and a certain somebody, it seems as though, I’m the only one trying to fit within everyone’s schedule, but nobody is really trying to fit time within mines. Well, I'm done being the only flexible one. If

they want to hang out with me, they will have to fit within my schedule from now on. If not, oh well! 

          This past weekend, I have had enough. I had two papers to turn in that weekend, an exam to take yesterday, and two more papers to turn in on the weekend coming up. All I wanted to do besides completing my assignments was to see the Halloween movie that I've been waiting to see since I saw the first commercial of the screening. Well, those plans kept getting pushed to other days. I finally decided to turn my phone completely off and ignored everyone in existence. People were really starting to get on my nerves, but I won’t say any names. 

          I took a cat nap and put my assignments on pause. I have time tomorrow. I instantly started feeling relieved. I later got up and decided to eat dinner, but first I needed a good show to watch. I’ve been dying to watch the second season of Big Mouth on Netflix, but I was waiting to be able to watch it with my boyfriend, but since he also feels as though I should fit within his schedule, he can watch the show by himself now. I don’t care! This will now be apart of my Me Time. And on top of watching Big Mouth, fixing my plate for dinner; I added a glass of wine to the mix. I was then in a great place of relaxation. With this event alone, I felt my stress levels lowering and my body was in a great relaxed state. I need more of these Me Time events.

           I think I should plan a time within each month to dedicate time just for me. This event will include me turning my phone completely off once a month, find a good show or movie to watch, and a nice glass of wine by my side as I enjoy my own company. I will then gather all the irritating people, and the many pressures that I feel are placed on me in a storage box that I can come back to later. This time will be about me and me only.

          When was the last time, you had some quality me time? If you have, what did you do or plan to do in the future because I would love some suggestions especially if this becomes a once a month thing? If you haven’t had one of these yet, does this article convince you to give it a try?

Who Can We Really Trust These Days?

          From looking at the shirt I'm wearing in the photo above, you can see the image of Tupac Shakur, who was a famous American rapper in the 1990s, throwing his two middle fingers in front of his face while a police officer is standing behind him. Above his head reads the words, "Trust Nobody." This shirt perfectly expresses how I feel about the police departments and the criminal justice system we have placed in the United States. There have been so many incidents taking place where officers and the criminal justice system has failed "A lot" of its residents, and it seems as though the numbers are rising since before and during Trump's election years. I speak of cases such as the case with Trayvon Martin and the case with Robert White. In both examples, the victims were black males who were both unarmed, but the officers of the cases thought otherwise, and it lead to both victims getting killed. When it came to the Criminal Justice system of both cases, the victims were seen as the problem and that their deaths were acceptable consequences while the people who caused their deaths were treated in a way that let them get away with their wrongdoings. If it were the other way around, the victims would have been automatically given a bigger sentence or even given the death penalty. If you clicked on both of the victims' names, you would have learned that both cases took place within seven years apart. When it comes to the case of Robert White,  it took place this year which means that things have not changed when it comes to our officers and the criminal justice system that we the American people are paying taxes for. In both cases, you also learn that both victims were innocent black males. Many of these cases the victims were usually of color, and in most of those cases, they were the one that was found guilty even though they were not alive to be able to speak on their own behalves. Instead, it has lead to many protests that usually don't last long (e.g. The two Football Season Protests) and justice is still not properly served. Tupac felt the same way during his time on Earth, and many people like me are still feeling the same way in 2018. So as a person of color, I have a question. Who am I supposed to trust when I need police intervention? Yes, I know not all cops are not like that, but how can you really tell the difference between a "good" cop and a "bad" cop until you're face-to-face with one of them? At that moment it might be too late to find out if they turn out to be one of the "bad" cops. 

          Now I would like to bring up a current event that took place last month that personally affects me as a current college student, a student attending the University of Maryland, Baltimore County (UMBC), and someone who has experienced sexual harassment and rape. On September 20th, the school hosted a listening session about the mishandling of Title IX cases that were given to the campus police department last year and a couple years ago. Both Title IX cases involved sexual harassment and rape among college students. In one of the cases, in particular, it was learned that one of the campus police officers were involved and misused his title and authority. They too were one of the people who raped one of the college students. So I restate my question. "Who can we really trust these days?" 

           When you are experiencing sexual assault, harassment, or rape, the final thing you are told to do is to report it to the police. Then hope they'll take the case seriously and not try to place the blame on you. But in this case, it was the police officer who was the one to violate the law, so who is next in line to reporting the incident? You would think, you could report the case to the head of the department, and they would handle the situation and fire the officer in the process. But apparently, that wasn't the case for the UMBC police department. The station tried to hide the case for about two years until it suddenly got released a week before the listening session event. In this case, even though one police officer violated their authority, the whole police department is still at fault because they tried to hide the cases and it seems as though, they never decided to fire the officer nor let the UMBC community know about these events taking place. I call these type of cops, "Want to seem good but are still bad" cops. And that is why I question the people who call themselves police officers these days. A lot of people already had fear and didn't trust cops to respect and protect "all" the residents in their counties especially when it comes to people of color, but now new fear arises for the population of women who could become a cop's next sexual victim. This also places more questions for the police located in Baltimore, Maryland. We still haven't resolved the distrust many people had developed in 2014-2015, and now we have to add more to this distrust with them now that this Title IX cases have come out at UMBC. Also, even after the listening session took place, there still hasn't been any word of whether or not they fired that police officer nor the officers who knew about the incident.

Now, I have a question for you. Who do you place your trust in when it comes to protection and respect?

Tinder Dating: One Year Later

During the taking of this picture, I knew for sure I wanted to make it official. 

          If you have been following my page regularly, you should already be aware that I explored the world of online dating for the first time last summer. My reason behind the idea was to try something new, put myself out there to meet new people, and to write an article on multi-dating possibly. Well, an article was created about my experiences with multi-dating by using the Tinder dating app, but I gained so much more than I originally intended when I created my Tinder account profile. If you are new to my page or are not familiar with my articles that talks about my online dating experiences, click the following links to get caught up. Multi dating Tinder Edition & Who did I end up choosing

          Now that you are all caught up, it's time to fast forward to now. As you read the "Who Did I end up choosing?" article, I mentioned that I ended up falling for two guys on the app. When I originally started meeting guys on Tinder, it was just through curiosity and that there was a possibility that a friendship could come out of it. Well at the end of the article, I chose Calvin* to make it official with. Thanks to you all who read that article, I ended up getting the most views I have ever had since creating my blog. So with that being said, "Thank you and I hope you keep conversating with me through my blog."

The day we celebrated our one year anniversary

           A few days ago, me and Calvin* (his real name is Logan) just celebrated our first year anniversary, it was on August 28th.  We decided to celebrate over the weekend before since I was going to start the Fall semester of college the very next day of our anniversary. We went to the game room on campus and played pool, ping pong, and ate pizza. Afterward, we went back to my place, and he made dinner while I made drinks. Lastly, we played one of my favorite board games, which was the Game of Life. Overall, it was a very chill and great night.

          So looking back from the very beginning of our relationship, it felt like the typical honeymoon stage; which typically lasts up to three or four months. During the honeymoon stage, that's when everything about the relationship is excellent and reality hasn't hit you yet. I am very familiar of this stage and know that the feeling doesn't last long since I've been in committed relationships longer than the length of the honeymoon stage. Unfortunately for Logan, four months was his longest relationship until now, so all he knew is the honeymoon stage. The honeymoon stage for us lasted two months longer than the typical honeymoon stage. 

          After the honeymoon stage was over, reality definitely hit us. Not every single thing that took place within the relationship could no longer be easily brushed off because the newness of the relationship was wearing off. Now that we had been together for six months, we struggled trying to find time to hang out while also working on our future careers. With all this taking place, money has been a cause for many of our conflicts. I mean what can you expect when two early 20-year-old young adults are in a committed relationship while at the same time working on their careers and completing their education? I mean the 20s are intended for personal, educational, and career growth; which equals to a lot of hard times when it comes to finances. At times it seemed as though, one person was so deep in bettering themselves that they accidentally left the other person hanging in the background. We have been working on balancing out the relationship and our careers. I believe that we have gotten to a better space with this.

          When I mentioned that I gained a lot more than I intended when I first started using Tinder, well I did. And he told me that he did as well. When we initially joined Tinder, we had two opposing reasons for creating an account. I joined to write an article, while he joined to meet new possible friends to hang out with since moving back to Maryland. It kinda shocked both of us when realized that we actually liked each other more than we intended to happen. We both were dating other people at the same time we were dating each other and after we had a conversation last year, we dropped the other people immediately and then started officially dating. Throughout this year we've been together, I learned to put down my emotional walls entirely and to become more vulnerable. 

This picture was taken on Valentine's Day

          The difference between this relationship and all my past relationships is that everything I hoped to gain in a committed relationship, this is the only one that had just about everything I had on my checklist and possibly more. The other relationships either had some or close to none. I almost questioned myself because I thought that I probably set my standards too high, but I kept getting the thought that it wasn't so I never made any hard changes to my must have standard list when it came to dating. On my list, I wanted a guy who was patient, motivated and ambitious about something he loves, loves to travel and try new things, has to be a family person, and values education. On my Tinder profile I mentioned a few of the things I was looking for and for the most part, the guys that I matched with shared a lot of those qualities so they must have read my profile. I found that shocking because I felt as though most guys on dating apps just look at pictures and pay little attention to profiles. Clearly, I was wrong about that and was happy that I took the time to create a well-detailed biography. With that being said, it shouldn't have been a shocker to me when I learned that Logan had all the qualities I mentioned on my profile and the ones I didn't even list but was still hoping to gain in a future relationship.

         We have now made it to the first year officially dating and I can't wait to see the number of years of being together add up over time. By online dating, I found something that I did not initially try to find but wanted and was looking for. The same can happen to you as well. They say that the best relationships happen by accident and my story proves right. Just have fun, don't put a lot of pressure on yourself, and let things happen naturally. If you ever were wondering about giving Tinder, multi-dating, or online dating a try; I hope I convinced you enough to try it out three articles later lol.

Why Should You Strive to Become a Better Communicator

          When it comes to the art of communication, it is something that everyone will have to learn and do throughout their whole lifetime on Earth. We communicate to be heard, to be understood, to get tasks and goals accomplished, and lastly to express different types of emotions. In this article, I will be showing you why it's important to work on your communication skills and why a good communicator should strive to become better communicators.

          As I came across this topic, I was and is still coming off to people as misunderstood and it made me wonder why. Is it my body language? Does my personality has anything to do with this? Or the way I communicate with certain people just clashes and sents off the wrong messages that I was not trying to send? I believe all three could have possibly been the reasons. I will use a current example to explain my reasoning to my conclusion.

          At the beginning of the summer, it seems as though my current boyfriend and I were not seeing eye to eye when it came to the future status of our relationship. I thought things were fine for the most part, but that we were just in a dry state in the relationship at the moment. Whereas, he felt as though I was starting to lose interest in him and would possibly become interested in seeing other people. When he first mentioned this concern, I was taken back by the comment because it felt like new information to me. It took us about two weeks of a lot of miscommunication to learn that he has been feeling this way since late Spring. Now why the fuck did he wait so long to tell me this?... This is what I was thinking inside my head and wanted to say it out loud to him but decided this was not the time to bitch. I decided on trying to have a real conversation that did not lead to any arguing.

          After hearing this comment being stated by him, I tried to go back into my memory bank on how I could have possibly made him feel unwanted. The only thing I could think of was that I was very stressed during the Spring semester taking two more classes than I usually took in one semester and because I was taking a lot of classes, I couldn't work the same amount of hours I often worked for during the Fall and Spring semesters and that resulted in a smaller paycheck for 4 to 5 months. To add to this fact, one of the classes I was taking was extremely hard for me to understand and find any interest in attending class for the lecture hours. With little money coming in, I had no money to save for the summer, I had no play money to participate in activities as outlets, and I had to continually take out money from my savings to pay for Uber in order for me to get back to forth to work and school. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that my computer was going in and out of the shop because I broke it during the end of the Fall semester. I had to pay out of pocket to get that fix as well. Luckily, I passed all the classes with flying colors to the point you would wonder why I was stressing so much.

          So texting and talking on the phone did not help our communicate our feelings and concerns about the topic at all, so we agreed that he would come over to my place so we can talk in person. When he arrived, the vibe was admittedly off to me and apparently, he felt the same when he stated that I wasn't doing things I used to do in the beginning of the relationship and that since I wasn't doing those things with him that it could be a possibility that I must be doing those things with someone else who currently had my interest. He also stated that in one of our recent conversations that when I used a lot of me terms and no we terms when discussing my future plans after college and this added to his concerns. I understood his point on how he could feel that way, and I thought I had a legit reason for my use of me terms and little to no we terms.

          If you are not aware of my past relationships from previous articles I've written, this current relationship is my longest relationship I have even been in without having any breaks between dates. When I mention taking breaks, I talking about breaking up and eventually getting back together. Out of all the people I dated, I only considered starting a real future with one or two people and do you know where they both ended up becoming? Dead and done. I learn quickly after the off- and- on relationship I had with my high school sweetheart that no one would have me that deep in love that I lower my standards to make things work. Another thing I learned was that I will always find a way to make sure I stay on my career path and accomplish my life goals and no one will stop me from doing that. That includes relationships with all the people that surround my presence.

          At the end of our in-person conversation, he had the nerve to be like ", So what do you think you need to do to better our relationship?" I looked at him like, "Nigga, ain't you in this relationship too?" I know I am not perfect, but I'm damn sure 'nuff ain't the only one in this relationship. Instead of cussing him out and say everything I was thinking, I came up with possible ways I could do better on my part and left it at that. When he left, I felt a lot was left unsaid and we didn't accomplish the main goal; which was how "WE" could make the relationship work. Between text message and Facebook messenger, it was determined that we needed to meet up again and redo the in-person conversation. I knew it, but he wouldn't know where I would lead the discussion until he got there.

          When he enters my apartment, he asks to make him some food. At this point, I'm already annoyed because every time his ass come, he needs a damn meal like he done gave me a fuckin' ring and paying a bill or two of mines. If you can't tell, I was on my Destiny Child's, "Independent Woman" and "Can you pay my bills... If you did then maybe we could chill" attitude, but I had a mission to complete and it was going to be completed that night.

          As we were sitting in the dining room at the table eating dinner, I started staring at him trying to find the right words. Of course, my face and body language are very expressive, so he automatically knew I had something to say so I ran out of time to think of the right words. I  blurted out, "So do you realized this year so far we been together, we only celebrated one birthday and like three holidays together?" I then paused and looked at him, and he didn't have a response to my comment, so I continued talking. "During the last time you came over, you made a statement that I stopped becoming affectionate around the middle of the Spring semester, well remember you didn't come to my birthday celebration and nor did you do anything to make up for it?" No response. "We at least did hang out for your birthday." Still no response. "Oh, how about Christmas? I gave you a gift, and I got nothing. He reminds silence while looking at me speak. In my head, I hope he is comprehending everything I'm saying and I'm not wasting my time and breath. " Also, we don't go on dates as we used to so how can you expect me to continue to do the same things I did in the beginning of the relationship when you're not doing the same things you were doing in the beginning either?"  He finally has something to say and mentions that he stopped taking me on dates because I stopped being affectionate towards him. "Well if all we do is hang at my house and I'm always feeding you more than you feed me then what do you expect. And anyone would feel a certain way when their boy/girlfriend or anybody close to them doesn't do anything for their birthday, but they did something for theirs. I mean your mother would feel some type of way if you did that to her so what makes me any different?"

          After pulling out the mom card, he was all ears and understood where I was coming from entirely. He then asked me why didn't I mention to him how I felt about the situation and now I was the one speechless. It took me a moment to come up with a response then flashbacks came to me of all the times I acted similarly. " Well I believe I probably mentioned them in some way, but not in a straightforward way and then when it seemed as though you weren't getting it, I just brushed my feelings off and as a result, I started becoming less affectionate. "It seems as though you too need to work on your communicating skills as well," was his response back and we were now on the same page.

          I used the previous example because it was one of the most recent miscommunication events that I have had with someone close to me and I felt as though this event shows that I too can work on bettering my communication skills even though I feel as though I'm already good at it. From this example, you can clearly see that I can and should work on this skill some more. I also learned some tips on how to better my communication skills through this experience. One thing I learned about my communication skills was that I can become very defensive when I feel as though the other person is saying something negative about my character. Sometimes it's okay when you have valid points, but is not always needed. As in this example, telling my boyfriend how I felt about him not doing anything for my birthday was one of the main reasons why I started becoming less affectionate towards him and me giving my reasons for my actions gave him a clearer understanding of my actions. A second thing that I learned was that when I think I'm being straightforward about something, I'm not always being seen as being that way. Actually others including my boyfriend find it as the opposite, and I end up giving out a lot of hints until it gets to the point where I start brushing my emotions off. And lastly, one thing I have noticed way before this previous event is that I need to work on just listening to what the other person has to say without trying to come up with a comeback response before they even finish talking.

          By dissecting the example I used, I was able to see first hand how I communicate and what my strengths and weaknesses are when interacting with others. Now it's your turn to dissect a conversation you had with someone recently that didn't turn out the way you planned it to be. While breaking down the conversation point out your strengths and weaknesses that you notice about your communication skills. Write down the things you noticed and then practice strengthening your skills with someone close.

See you next month!

How I learned my purpose in life & how you can do the same

         

          Are you upset about your current life situation? Not sure about your passion in life? In need of a change of a different life path? Then I believe you arrived at the right place and at the right time. In this article, I will tell you the steps I made to learn my passion and purpose in life and give you tips on how you can find yours.

          When I was very young, I had a thing for pencils, paper, and doodling. I was four years old, and I didn't know this would soon become a passion of mines. I just knew that I enjoyed participating in that activity and I felt relaxed while doing it. I didn't realize that I could make my passion for writing into a real career until I graduated high school. Once I graduated twelfth grade, I decided to take my writing more seriously. I started to write different types of poems, and I wrote one short story for a class project.

          During the month of September of that year, I enrolled in my local community college to major in journalism. I had high hopes that this degree would lead me to a great life as a writer,  but listening to my family and learning their thoughts about the career I wanted, gave me the feeling that it would be impossible to make a living as a writer and that having any kind of writing degree would be pointless. I then read up on my favorite authors who went to college to see what did they major in while they were in college and I found that most of them studied Psychology. I then read an article about an MTV star who was deciding to major in Psychology as well. In the article, she explained her reason why she was going to major in the subject, and she shared a similar interest as me; which was the fact that we like helping others. That day, I decided that I would change my major to psychology and possibly become a counselor and within that path, I would find a way to publish books as well.

          To give you a background story of my life, I am the oldest sibling of three children between both of my parents. My mother went to the same community college I went to and received her associates in child development, while my father went to a trade school, but I am unsure if he finished his program. My grandparents on my mother side moved from North Carolina, and they only had a high school education. With this background, I entered college sightly blind sighted of what I'm supposed to major, how I'm I suppose to know what I would be interested in doing for the rest of my life after graduating college, and how I am I suppose to gain resources that surpass my parents and grandparents knowledge? The only close family members who attended a University and received at least a Bachelor degree was my grandparents on my father side and his sister; which is my aunt. By the time I graduated with my Associates, I only had one grandparent and my aunt to talk to about life as a University college student. Today as I'm entering my final year at my University, I only have my aunt. With this small background story, you can see how I could feel completely lost when it comes to the thought of entering University.

          Back in high school, my godmother told my mom about a program my godbrother had just enrolled in at the community college. The program is called Upward Bound at Prince George's community college, and it helps children who come from homes where their parents are either have low-income paying jobs, have never earned at least one American Bachelor degree, or both. I had to file out an application, and I was soon accepted into the program as well. While in the program, I got helped with school work, I got to visit different colleges, learned about people of different backgrounds and teamwork, and I gained many resources that I would soon need once I become an official college student. My transition from being a senior in high school to becoming a freshman in college was a little rocky until I realized that the resources I had while in the high school program was still helpful and accepting of me once I graduated out the program. They helped me find two jobs on campus through the financial aid program. Through those jobs, I was able to gain the skills that I would continue to use today. They also helped me with my applications for University colleges and scholarships in my state. Without these resources, I don't think I would have attended the University of Maryland in Baltimore County, which was my first and primary choice after graduating from Prince George's Community College with my Associates.

           During the Fall semester of my last year at the community college, I came across a flyer on one of the billboards looking for creative writing pieces to include into their art & literacy publication and I submitted a few poems to the college's newspaper group. Two of my poems were accepted, and I performed one of the poems during the book release event. This was the first time I became published anywhere, and this gave me the confirmation I needed to realize that not only do the people who personally knew me but that other people liked my work and motivated me to continue writing. I entered the next two semester publications, and those poems got accepted too, and I was allowed to perform at both events.

          During the time of the third publication release event, I was now a UMBC member working on my first semester there. I was also part of the UMBC Retriever Newspaper as a poet, and I was the secretary of my apartment community that was also located on the campus. At this time in my life, you would think I was on cloud nine and life couldn't get any better for me. At this moment, I felt just like that, but reality will soon set in, and it would quickly feel like I made two steps back. This event took place when I was having a conversation with my dad and telling him that I had a hard time passing an advanced math class. At the end of our discussion, that is when I decided that I should make my minor into my major and my major into my minor.

           It took me a year and a half before I was able to change my major to how I wanted it to be changed to as a double major in English and Psychology. I even added a concentration in Developmental Psychology after working at my current daycare for a year and a half. I decided to double major because I realized how much I enjoyed writing and I knew I would have regretted not getting a degree in English and I needed at least one English class each semester as an outlet between the Psychology classes. And I kept Psychology as my major because I did enjoy most of my psychology classes, but not as much as I enjoyed my English classes and I took too many courses to just receive a minor in it. At this point in my life, I soon realized that I no longer wanted to become a counselor and that my passion has always been writing and working with children.

          After realizing my passion, I look back on how life tried to tell me what they were in many mysterious ways. One sign was that I would always feel as though writing was an outlet for me and I enjoyed it so much that I would create new stories and poems for free. Another sign was that life would always find a way to get me to write new creative material. And the art of working with children has always been a natural skill for me thanks from the shallowing I did with my mom throughout her career. And within both professions, I receive a lot of feedback that my writings and working with children have help them in some way. Even though I no longer plan to become a counselor, I am still able to help others as I wanted to when I initially changed my major to Psychology.

          For my advice to you, I would say to first pay attention to the signs. What is one or more activities or thoughts you keep coming back to and find complete happiness in? What is one thing you would do for free if bills were not involved? My second advice would have to be, focus on your own happiness and not anyone else's. When you become selfish about your own happiness, life becomes very worth wild. My third advice would be, don't be afraid to try something new. If you find that you have interest in something that you never done before, just try it. How would you know what you're good at or like if you haven't even tried it out first? The answer is, you won't and you just might regret not participating in the activity in the future. And my fourth advice, don't wait to make it the changes in your life happen, start working towards those goals now because tomorrow is not promised to you.  As Mahatma Gandhi said, "Be the change that you wish to see in the world." See you next month!

How to Have Body Confidence this Summer

         

          The weather is getting warmer; more skin is showing as suggested from the pictures above, and let me be the first to say that, "I'm going to wear what the fuck I want to wear this summer," and have no care what others think of it. In this article, I will express how I developed this mentality in hopes that you all will gain encouragement to do the same.

          At one point in my life, I did care what others thought about my clothes and what others thought about my physical features just like everyone else probably did growing up in our society.  With the addition of the environment, we are absorbed in; we have the use of social media also playing in the role on making people more comfortable to express their opinions on what other people are doing in their lives and what they were wearing even when their comments and opinions weren't needed nor asked for. Well, I'm cutting out the middleman aka "Negative Energy"  and saying, "I'm going to wear, what the fuck I'm going to wear this summer." Over the years, I have started becoming more nonchalant on what others think of me especially if they are not taking part of helping to pay for my wants and needs in life. This started around the time I was entering my last year of community college and I decided that I no longer wanted to get perms in my hair and to go natural. When I first mentioned that I would no longer get a perm in my hair, I received mixed reviews. Most of the positive comments came from friends and people who were not blood-related while the negative comments and thoughts were. Receiving that news was very shocking and revealing to me. I actually assumed I would have received the opposite. I couldn't understand why my family thought it was a bad idea even when I had proven facts on why it was a great idea. Well, they weren't having it. They tried to find ways to get me back to the creamy crack. It did not work on their end. It was a complete fail and a total win on my part. In ways, I could have never imagined. Going natural has taught me to stand my ground on my beliefs and choices that are making me happy at the end of the day even if people I have high respect for don't feel the same. Going natural has also taught me that I have to really like myself before I try to convince others to do the same. Before going natural, I never really felt as though I was being brainwashed to believe that my natural hair could never compete with when my hair was straight, styled as loose curls, or having any hairstyles that could perfectly hide my naps until I had to learn about the hair growing out my scalp with no enhancers. After the first year of going natural and doing the big chop, I started learning who I was and was meant to be for the first time and started applying this mentality to all aspects of my life.

          So to say, this summer if I want to wear a very revealing swimsuit, I will! If I want to wear a dress that is too long for my natural height, I will! And if I wear a bra that becomes see-through under my shirt, Oh well! At least I'm wearing one. You know why? It's because when I chose my outfits, I'm looking out for my own best interests, not anyone else's. And when it comes to my hair, I wear my hair in its natural shrinkage state most of the time, but if I want to switch up with a straighten wig or straighten it with a flatting comb and a roller set to get bouncy loose curls, I will do that too.

           I know I have a "Bangin' Ass Body," and that's my opinion, which is more important one about myself than anybody else's has on my appearance because I'm the only one living and creating experiences in this body that I have naturally been given. I didn't start gaining this opinion of myself, until the day I came with the realization that, "If I'm happy with my life choices and decisions I have made than who cares if others don't agree with them." Everyone isn't going to find me attractive, but that doesn't mean there aren't others who will and do find me attractive. People may not feel comfortable with my level of confidence, but throughout black history and during my lifetime, I've been given the message that I don't deserve to be okay with the skin and physical features I was born with and with my new mentality, I'm changing all prospects and if you're not ok with that, then suit yourself because this is me. I sleep peacefully knowing that I was able to make decisions that make me completely happy and received no regrets at all from them. This message isn't just for me, but it's for yourself too. Are you happy with your looks? Do you enjoy the activities you participate in? Did anybody die or get physically harmed by a decision you made for yourself? If you said yes to my first two questions and no to my last question, then nothing should be stopping you from doing those things. And I will end on this note, "This summer, we will wear and do what the fuck we want to do this Summer with no regret at all."

Traveling this Summer without Breaking the Bank

          It is May 1st, and that means that we are a month closer to Summer. Summer is the best time to enjoy very nice weather and longer days. Not only is it the best time to enjoy the beautiful weather, but it is also the best time to travel. If you're like me, you probably have a hectic schedule and have little money to spend on extra activities, but likes to participate in new experiences without breaking the bank to do so. In this post, I will share my tips on how I am able to travel between my school and work schedules.


1. Have a Realistic Budget Plan

          Before you do any type of planning for a future vacation, you have to create a price range you are willing to put aside for the trip and knowing how long it would take you to save that amount of money. Knowing this information will determine when you'll be able to go on the trip.  If the budget you have in mind and the date you want to go on the vacation clashes, that means you will need to either change the budget or come up with a different location that is more achievable to achieve.


2. Plan Early as Possible

          After you have chosen the place you want to visit, you should look up the possible ways you could get to that destination from point A to point B and back. Those options could be by driving, getting on the train or bus, or by flying. If you choose any of the mentioned options that are not through driving a vehicle yourself, the prices are usually the cheapest when you get your tickets at least one month before the event; especially if you decide to travel through plane or bus and purchasing round tickets. If you plan to travel through air, check out Travelocity and Kayak to find discounts. The same goes for hotel prices. The earlier you book your residence, the better chance you have of purchasing lower prices for nice hotel rooms. To find discount coupons for hotels near your destinated location; check out the sites such as Groupon.com, Hotwire.com, Trivago.com, Kayak.com, and Booking.com.

3. Find People Who Want to Join

          By including more people on the trip, you split the travel and hotel costs. This will make your already discounted prices cheaper and can also help with the cost of gas if you all decide to drive back and forth to your destination.

4. Have Activities in Mind, Before Hand

          Most people believe that you should wing it (meaning to not have any real solid plans at all) while you are at the destination. But, I'm going to tell you, that it's not a good idea. You actually spend more money when you chose that route. Instead, look up the possible activities you can participate in during your stay. After you find the potential events in that location, look on Groupon or the activities' site for possible discount codes and coupons for those activities. You may even find new activities to choose from while checking out the sites.

I hope these tips of mine suit you well, and safe travels as we are getting closer to Summer 2018. See you in the next month's article.

Ways to Continue the Celebration of Women's Month

                    Photo Credit to Nate https://www.facebook.com/nate.jones.75248795

          As we enter the month of April, which is the month of Poetry Appreciation, we are leaving the month of March, which was the month of Women Appreciation.  I thought it would be important to share many ways how you and others can encourage women and girls to better themselves. But, let me first give you a short recap of the Beauty Showcase Event and all who participated.

         

Last month, I was apart of a fantastic event called, "Beauty Showcase," this was an event that gave an opportunity to myself and other women to showcase products they are selling. This all took place in the Women Center located on the campus of University of Maryland Baltimore County (UMBC). You may now know us as #UMustBeCinderella thanks to March Madness. It was a great opportunity to be a part of and learn what other women on campus are during besides focusing on their majors and social lives. The other woman who participated in the event was Anna (in the photo below), who hand paints different sizes of masking jars. At the first moment of meeting her,  you learn that she is a beautiful and friendly spirit. She first started painting masking jars as gifts for her friends. Her friends really loved and enjoyed her gifts that it inspired her to design more to sell for a great price. If you are interested in looking and purchasing beautiful jars by Anna, you can check them out by clicking the link to her Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/jarsbyanna/

For my presentation, my and Alicia (in the photo below), who is the owner of Botanically You Scalp Organic Serum, told the group about the behind the scenes story of the creation, which you can check out by clicking the link to see the videos of Alicia telling her story https://www.instagram.com/p/Bgel5e-gXP7/?taken-by=shopbotanicallyyou. We also mentioned the benefits of using the product when used daily and we showed before and after pictures of ourselves and other people who used the product and received remarkable results. The group became very interested in the product, and they were impressed at the results they seen in the pictures. If you are interested in checking out the Botanically You product, click the link to the official website https://botanicallyyou.com/?rfsn=717783.de8057. Also, we also have an Instagram page, which you can get updates about the product. Click the link https://www.instagram.com/shopbotanicallyyou/ and stay up to date with us.

Now that you have gotten a recap of the Beauty Showcase event, I will list the many ways that you and others can support and empower women and girls in whatever they are apart of.

•  Go to their event. It seems so simple, but this will show them that you care enough to support them in what they are doing with their lives.

•  If they sell a product, a craft, or sell a service and you love. Just buy it. If you would have quickly brought the same product or service from a complete stranger, then buy it and don't ask for a discount. They have bills to pay too. 

• Spread the word. If you find that you know others who are interested in those type of products, crafts, and service, then tell others about it.

• Encourage. If you know people who dream to become something or like someone they aspire to be like, encourage them that they should make those dreams come true because anything is possible. You just have to put your best at it.

I hope this post inspired you to support and empower your friends to become who they dream to become and working on becoming as well. Not only do I hope, I inspired to support your friends, family, and even people you just meet on the street, but I also hope that I inspired you to do the same. 

Thank you, and see you next month!

Hairstyles to try this Spring

          It is now March 1st, and I know you are ready for that beautiful warm weather especially if you had to deal with the Winter cold weather as I have. Spring is the best time to explore new fashion trends and hairstyles, and that's what I am going to take the time discussing in this article.

          If you are new to my blog, you may not be aware that I wear my hair natural most of the time. I've been natural for almost three years, and I just love the journey, but I want to do some more exploring with hairstyles this Spring and Summer. I hope some of these hairstyles inspire you too.

This style is called Fake Locs. I absolutely love how she has one side of her head shaved. I feel as though showing this hairstyle shows bravery because not many people can pull off this look.

This style is braided with hair added to it. What makes it very different from the traditional braids with added hair, you start your hair in sections that you want to be the size of your braids, and you put those sections into individual ponytails with rubber bands. Once all the parts have rubber bands on them, you get the added hair and wrap it around the hair then braid. After making the braid, get another rubber band to close the ends. You do that for all your braids. And Walla, you have this hairstyle.

So this used to be my favorite hairstyle during the first year of my natural hair journey because it was so simple and cute at the same time. You can dress it up just by changing your scarf, and there is no excuse why you can't get your exercise in during the week.

Before I became natural, I only got my hair colored once, but now that I have been able to grow my to my original length when I had relaxers and more after almost four years I'm now ready to do some exploring and add some if not a lot of color to my hair now. This is the biggest goal I want to do when it comes to my hair.

And lastly these are cornroll braids. I find this style so beautiful and can be styled in two ways. The beads just adds to the beauty of this look.


I hope I inspired you to try something new to your hair this season just as I am inspired to do the same with mines. You can find all these pictures on pintrest.com. Your hair is your crown why not decorate it.

The Left turn on Romance that everyone seems to keep hush about. It's about time we speak up about it!

           It's now February 1st, and that means that there are thirteen more days to prefect any possible Valentine's day plans. When it comes to Valentine's day, it is expected to be the day of expressing love towards your partner and the people you love in a unique way that you probably don't often show to them during the rest of the year. Since a lot of people like talking about the positive sides of love during this time of the month, I decided to go a different route and talk about a sensitive topic that a lot of people have a hard time talking about openly. Within this article, I hope to bring to light what the many ways that are considered a form of sexual abuse, examples of rape from personal experiences, and resources to help any possible victims that have been in a similar situation.

          In the past couple of years, there has been a lot of victims coming out to the public about receiving unwanted sexual interactions that took place among them as children or as a young adult in the childcare system and the Hollywood industries. There have been so many cases that it seems as though, a new trial comes out every other day and the states find further ways to tighten up the laws amongst childcare workers. As a childcare worker myself, I have experienced the changes within the system in the past year.

          Before I started to write this article, I did some research and found a supportive sexual violence victim organization that has helped more than 2.5 million people since 1994 nationally. This organization is called RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network). RAINN is the nations largest anti-sexual violence organization who operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800-656-HOPE [4673], RAINN.org, and RAINN.org/es) while having a partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country. They also operate the DoD Safe Helpline for the Department of Defense. The organization makes it's their mission to support sexual assault and violence victims through hosting programs to prevent sexual violence, helping survivors and making sure that sexual violators are accountable for their actions.

           On the RAINN.org website, the term sexual violence was defined as, "an all-enpassing, non-legal term that refers to crimes like sexual assault, rape, and sexual abuse." The website also mentions the many types of sexual crimes with information provided about them. The following sexual crimes listed were: sexual assault, child sexual abuse, sexual assault of men and boys, intimate partner sexual violence, incest, drug-facilitated sexual assault, sexual harassment, stalking, adult survivors of child sexual abuse, using technology to hurt others (such as pornography), multiple-perpetrator sexual assault (gang rape), elder abuse, sexual abuse of people with disabilities, prisoner rape, military sexual trauma, and sexual exploitation by helping professionals. The website also provides information about the legal role of consent per state in the United States.

          Now, you're probably wondering why I'm so passionate about this topic, and I'm going to tell you why I am. If you have been keeping up with my articles, you may remember in my December 2017 article, I mentioned that I told my current boyfriend that I am a rape victim during one of our dates before we became an official couple, but I didn't get into a lot of details about the actual encounter between the violator and me until now.

          The incident took place a few months after I graduated high school and I was in my first semester of my freshmen year of college. Around this time, a lot of people from the two high schools I attended kept finding me on Facebook out of random after I changed the name of my page to my government name. They would send my friend requests and I would accept them because I didn't take it as a big deal. Well there was one friend request that should have remained just that, but it did not. After I accepted his friend request, we messaged each other on Facebook and eventually agreed to hang out. This guy was two years older than I and was only one grade ahead of me when we was in high school. We didn't hang out while in high school, but we had casual talks through passing in the hallways. I never really found him attractive in school, but when we hung out that time it was something different about him that I liked. I felt and started acting shy; which ended up developing a full-blown crush on him. He noticed my feelings and pointed it out to me. After that day we kept hanging out. We would flirt from time to time, but there were times where he would go overboard, but I would tell him to stop. I didn't want to go that far with him because of two reasons. The first reason was that I just got into a relationship with one of my exes and I didn't want to cheat on him. At the time, he was the first and only guy I could openly say I was utterly in love with. And I just wanted some male attention that I wasn't getting in my relationship. The second reason was that his natural scent did not agree with my nose. Everyone who knows me knows that I have a thing with smells. Well one day, he couldn't control himself and decided by himself that we should fuck. I kept telling him, no, but he wasn't listening to me this time. He pulled down his pants and put on a condom then proceeded to pull down my shorts. All of this was taking place while I'm trying to get him to stop. It didn't work, and he ended up inside me as he placed me in different positions I never did before. I felt nothing because I mentally took myself out the situation and imagined that I was fucking my boyfriend instead of him.

          After that incident, I tried every way possible to forget it, and I eventually told him to leave me alone because he was now dead to me. A lot changed after that violation that I didn't notice, but others did. I started to become very clingy towards my boyfriend, but I didn't tell him what had happened to me because I was afraid that he would find the guy and possibly end up in jail. Also, I wasn't ready to admit to myself that the violation actually took place. Eventually, he ended the relationship. Another new habit I developed was my lack of trust in males besides the males in my family and my current boyfriends. Every time a male would touch me or even try to ask for a simple hug, my body would twitch to reject any form of contact from males. Also trying to forget about the incident didn't help because every time I would turn on the tv, I was reminded through the lenses of other girls and young ladies that were in similar situations as mine. Two years later after the incident, I felt as though I should tell the guy I was dating during the time of the event about it and why I suddenly became clingy during the last few months of our relationship. But every time we would talk, it felt like it was never the right time to bring the topic up until one day I was talking to a current boyfriend and he encouraged me that it was a good idea. The next time, I spoke to my ex, I told him everything. He tried his best to be supportive and tried his best to not act like an ass-hole as we exchanged messages through an app called KIK. After we finished talking, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. From the time of the incident to the two years afterward, I learned that I had personal friends, co-workers, and a boyfriend who was sexually violated as well.

          After learning that I knew people who were in a similar situation as I, I did some research and discovered that many of the celebrities I enjoyed watching as a form of entertainment or inspired to become similar too were also sexually violated. On the website, www.ranker.com, they list some celebrities who came out publicly that they were also survivors of sexual abuse. Below I will list the name of the celebrities and a summary of what happened to them and where they told their story.

1. Oprah Winfrey
. Was raped by a relative when she was nine years old. She has mentioned her story on her talk show, "The Oprah Winfrey" show

2. Lady Gaga
. Was raped by a record producer at nineteen years old, who was twenty years her senior. In 2014, she mentioned her story on the radio to radio host Howard Stern. Her song, "Swine," is about the incident

3. Shia LaBeouf
. Had been raped by a woman during his #IAmSorry performance art project in 2014. Later that year in November, he made a public claim about it

4. Gabrielle Union
. Was raped while working at a shoe store when she was nineteen years old

5. Tyler Perry
. Was raped by a mother of one of his childhood friends, who held him hostage in her house until he agreed to have sex with her

6. Fran Drescher
. She and a friend were robbed and raped in her home while her husband Peter Jacobson was attacked, tied up, and forced to watch the incident in 1985

7. Fantasia
. Was raped by a classmate while she was in high school

8. Queen Latifah
. Was sexually abused by a babysitter when she was a child

9. Maya Angelou
. Was raped by her mother's boyfriend at the age of eight years old in 1936

10. Billie Holiday
. Was raped by a neighbor at the age of twelve years old in 1926

          After looking at this list of inspiring people, I am able to look at my experience in a better light, and I hope others will be able to as well. This topic is not the easiest topic to talk about especially if it personally happened to you or to someone who is close to you. So when someone comes to you who have had this experience take place in their life, just listen because it took a lot for them to come to you about it and that means that they trust you with that information. Even if  they decided to say something years later, still listen because there are many reasons why they waited to speak up. For me, it took me two years after the incident because I didn't want the people I cared about to get in trouble or ended up in jail for defending my honor. And the other reason was that I didn't want people to feel sorry for me. A lot of survivors feels similar, for many, they just want to understand why did it take place and was it possible to avoid it before it happened. I still don't want people to feel sorry for me, but I feel as though by telling my story, I can help others who are also survivors. If you are or know someone who has been in a similar situation, please share the website, RAINN.org or give them the organization number at 800-656-HOPE [4673]. There is a light in every situation and as  Maya Angelou's states, "A wise woman refuses to be no one's enemy; A wise woman refuses to be anyone's victim." Encourage others to speak up when a wrong has taken place and just listen; do not blame them.

Cited Sources

About RAINN. (n.d.). Retrieved January 24, 2018, from https://www.rainn.org/about-rainn

Miscreants slit blind girl's throat after rape attempt |. (1250). Retrieved from http://www.orissapost.com/miscreants-slit-blind-girls-throat-after-rape-attempt/

Lists (2018). You Probably Didn't Know It, But These Brave Celebrities Are Rape Survivors. [online] Ranker. Available at: https://www.ranker.com/list/famous-rape-victims/celebrity-lists [Accessed 24 Jan. 2018].

New Year Revolutions: How to make them realistic and how to make it possible to accomplish

          It is now January 1st, the start of a new year and do you know what comes with a new year? New Year Revolutions or Resolutions, however, you like to call them. We all know those type of people who creates them and end up giving up on accomplishing them by the first six months. Were you one of those people last year in this situation? Well, this year you're going to be able to accomplish them and I'm going to tell you how while mentioning why a lot of revolutions don't get accomplished.

          The first reason why a lot of resolutions don't get accomplished is because a lot of people wait until January 1st to start working on their goals instead of working on them at the very first thought. By waiting, it will only give you more time to place negative thoughts in your head and why you should try to accomplish the goal.

          Another reason why most resolutions fail is because a lot of people create unrealistic resolutions to acheive. For example, making the goal to lose 50 plus pounds in one month, but have never been to a gym in the past five years after graduating college and still maintain the same diet that you developed during your freshmen year and is the cause of you to gain the weight you currently are. This example is unrealistic because there are many steps need to be made first before being able to lose the 50 pounds. You have to learn a work out routine that works for you and Your body and you need to learn how to create the right diet for your body as well. According to the article, "Top 10 Reasons You Don't Stick to Your Resolutions," by Jene Luciani, she believes that people need to set goals that are achievable in a reasonable time frame. Also, make sure the goals are specific. Instead of having a goal of losing weight, have the amount you want to lose in mind.

          Having too many resolutions to achieve in one year, can also play a part on why they don't get accomplished. It is better to focus on one goal at a time before focusing on the others at the same time. By trying to focus on more than one goal at a time, it can become overwhelming and may just make you stop trying to accomplish any of the goals you previously set.

          When it comes to resolutions, many don't realize that when it comes to achieving new goals that you never accomplished before, you have to retrain your mindto accept new behaviors and a change of thought processes in order to accomplish those goals and stop your previous habits. By changing your previous behavior and thought process, you will learn to be patient when it comes to seeing accomplishments within the goal and make it unlikely for you to want to give up easily when things get hard or when it seems like the goal has become unachievable. Also when it comes. To changing previous behaviors and allowing new thoughts to enter your mind, changing words of action is also essential to do. Instead of saying "I can't accomplish" " I'm trying to" and "I didn't accomplish", you should be saying, "I can accomplish" "I am going to accomplish" and "I may not have accomplished this yet, but what I did accomplish was".

          The lack of money can also stop people from accomplishing their resolutions as well. For example, one could have the goal to travel to five countries within the year, but they believe they are not financially capable of traveling according to their bank account. Jene Luciani believes that by being creative, you can be able to find less expensive ways to complete those goals.

          New year resolutions become unachievable when there wasn't a plan of action created in the very beginning. By having a plan of action, it can help you stay on track with each step leading to the ability to accomplish the goal.

          And lastly, having a lack of honesty amongst yourself while creating your new year resolutions, can be a big factor on why you're not able to accomplish your goals. According to Luciani's article, she says that a lit of times, we try to commit to goals that we believe we must aaccomplish within society's expectations, but isn't a personal goal you tgenuinely want to achieve. Instead, you should be creating your new year revolutions based on things that you actually want to achieve and creating a plan of action towards those goals.

          Now that you know why many revolutions and resolutions become ununachieved goals, you will be able to create significant and realistiones this year. I made a few myself and I'm going to make sure I take each step to get them accomplished and I hope you do the same. Stay positive, grow to become a better version of you, and of course"Happy New Year."





Sources



https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wired-success/201012/why-new-years-resolutions-fail



https://www.shape.com/lifestyle/mind-and-body/top-10-reasons-you-dont-stick-your-resolutions