Friday, June 1, 2018

How to Have Body Confidence this Summer

         







          The weather is getting warmer; more skin is showing as suggested from the pictures above, and let me be the first to say that, "I'm going to wear what the fuck I want to wear this summer," and have no care what others think of it. In this article, I will express how I developed this mentality in hopes that you all will gain encouragement to do the same.

          At one point in my life, I did care what others thought about my clothes and what others thought about my physical features just like everyone else probably did growing up in our society.  With the addition of the environment, we are absorbed in; we have the use of social media also playing in the role on making people more comfortable to express their opinions on what other people are doing in their lives and what they were wearing even when their comments and opinions weren't needed nor asked for. Well, I'm cutting out the middleman aka "Negative Energy"  and saying, "I'm going to wear, what the fuck I'm going to wear this summer." Over the years, I have started becoming more nonchalant on what others think of me especially if they are not taking part of helping to pay for my wants and needs in life. This started around the time I was entering my last year of community college and I decided that I no longer wanted to get perms in my hair and to go natural. When I first mentioned that I would no longer get a perm in my hair, I received mixed reviews. Most of the positive comments came from friends and people who were not blood-related while the negative comments and thoughts were. Receiving that news was very shocking and revealing to me. I actually assumed I would have received the opposite. I couldn't understand why my family thought it was a bad idea even when I had proven facts on why it was a great idea. Well, they weren't having it. They tried to find ways to get me back to the creamy crack. It did not work on their end. It was a complete fail and a total win on my part. In ways, I could have never imagined. Going natural has taught me to stand my ground on my beliefs and choices that are making me happy at the end of the day even if people I have high respect for don't feel the same. Going natural has also taught me that I have to really like myself before I try to convince others to do the same. Before going natural, I never really felt as though I was being brainwashed to believe that my natural hair could never compete with when my hair was straight, styled as loose curls, or having any hairstyles that could perfectly hide my naps until I had to learn about the hair growing out my scalp with no enhancers. After the first year of going natural and doing the big chop, I started learning who I was and was meant to be for the first time and started applying this mentality to all aspects of my life.

          So to say, this summer if I want to wear a very revealing swimsuit, I will! If I want to wear a dress that is too long for my natural height, I will! And if I wear a bra that becomes see-through under my shirt, Oh well! At least I'm wearing one. You know why? It's because when I chose my outfits, I'm looking out for my own best interests, not anyone else's. And when it comes to my hair, I wear my hair in its natural shrinkage state most of the time, but if I want to switch up with a straighten wig or straighten it with a flatting comb and a roller set to get bouncy loose curls, I will do that too.

           I know I have a "Bangin' Ass Body," and that's my opinion, which is more important one about myself than anybody else's has on my appearance because I'm the only one living and creating experiences in this body that I have naturally been given. I didn't start gaining this opinion of myself, until the day I came with the realization that, "If I'm happy with my life choices and decisions I have made than who cares if others don't agree with them." Everyone isn't going to find me attractive, but that doesn't mean there aren't others who will and do find me attractive. People may not feel comfortable with my level of confidence, but throughout black history and during my lifetime, I've been given the message that I don't deserve to be okay with the skin and physical features I was born with and with my new mentality, I'm changing all prospects and if you're not ok with that, then suit yourself because this is me. I sleep peacefully knowing that I was able to make decisions that make me completely happy and received no regrets at all from them. This message isn't just for me, but it's for yourself too. Are you happy with your looks? Do you enjoy the activities you participate in? Did anybody die or get physically harmed by a decision you made for yourself? If you said yes to my first two questions and no to my last question, then nothing should be stopping you from doing those things. And I will end on this note, "This summer, we will wear and do what the fuck we want to do this Summer with no regret at all."

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

Traveling this Summer without Breaking the Bank


          It is May 1st, and that means that we are a month closer to Summer. Summer is the best time to enjoy very nice weather and longer days. Not only is it the best time to enjoy the beautiful weather, but it is also the best time to travel. If you're like me, you probably have a hectic schedule and have little money to spend on extra activities, but likes to participate in new experiences without breaking the bank to do so. In this post, I will share my tips on how I am able to travel between my school and work schedules.


1. Have a Realistic Budget Plan

          Before you do any type of planning for a future vacation, you have to create a price range you are willing to put aside for the trip and knowing how long it would take you to save that amount of money. Knowing this information will determine when you'll be able to go on the trip.  If the budget you have in mind and the date you want to go on the vacation clashes, that means you will need to either change the budget or come up with a different location that is more achievable to achieve.


2. Plan Early as Possible

          After you have chosen the place you want to visit, you should look up the possible ways you could get to that destination from point A to point B and back. Those options could be by driving, getting on the train or bus, or by flying. If you choose any of the mentioned options that are not through driving a vehicle yourself, the prices are usually the cheapest when you get your tickets at least one month before the event; especially if you decide to travel through plane or bus and purchasing round tickets. If you plan to travel through air, check out Travelocity and Kayak to find discounts. The same goes for hotel prices. The earlier you book your residence, the better chance you have of purchasing lower prices for nice hotel rooms. To find discount coupons for hotels near your destinated location; check out the sites such as Groupon.com, Hotwire.com, Trivago.com, Kayak.com, and Booking.com.


3. Find People Who Want to Join

          By including more people on the trip, you split the travel and hotel costs. This will make your already discounted prices cheaper and can also help with the cost of gas if you all decide to drive back and forth to your destination.


4. Have Activities in Mind, Before Hand

          Most people believe that you should wing it (meaning to not have any real solid plans at all) while you are at the destination. But, I'm going to tell you, that it's not a good idea. You actually spend more money when you chose that route. Instead, look up the possible activities you can participate in during your stay. After you find the potential events in that location, look on Groupon or the activities' site for possible discount codes and coupons for those activities. You may even find new activities to choose from while checking out the sites.


I hope these tips of mine suit you well, and safe travels as we are getting closer to Summer 2018. See you in the next month's article.

Monday, April 2, 2018

Ways to Continue the Celebration of Women's Month

                    Photo Credit to Nate https://www.facebook.com/nate.jones.75248795

          As we enter the month of April, which is the month of Poetry Appreciation, we are leaving the month of March, which was the month of Women Appreciation.  I thought it would be important to share many ways how you and others can encourage women and girls to better themselves. But, let me first give you a short recap of the Beauty Showcase Event and all who participated.

         
Last month, I was apart of a fantastic event called, "Beauty Showcase," this was an event that gave an opportunity to myself and other women to showcase products they are selling. This all took place in the Women Center located on the campus of University of Maryland Baltimore County (UMBC). You may now know us as #UMustBeCinderella thanks to March Madness. It was a great opportunity to be a part of and learn what other women on campus are during besides focusing on their majors and social lives. The other woman who participated in the event was Anna (in the photo below), who hand paints different sizes of masking jars. At the first moment of meeting her,  you learn that she is a beautiful and friendly spirit. She first started painting masking jars as gifts for her friends. Her friends really loved and enjoyed her gifts that it inspired her to design more to sell for a great price. If you are interested in looking and purchasing beautiful jars by Anna, you can check them out by clicking the link to her Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/jarsbyanna/





For my presentation, my and Alicia (in the photo below), who is the owner of Botanically You Scalp Organic Serum, told the group about the behind the scenes story of the creation, which you can check out by clicking the link to see the videos of Alicia telling her story https://www.instagram.com/p/Bgel5e-gXP7/?taken-by=shopbotanicallyyou. We also mentioned the benefits of using the product when used daily and we showed before and after pictures of ourselves and other people who used the product and received remarkable results. The group became very interested in the product, and they were impressed at the results they seen in the pictures. If you are interested in checking out the Botanically You product, click the link to the official website https://botanicallyyou.com/?rfsn=717783.de8057. Also, we also have an Instagram page, which you can get updates about the product. Click the link https://www.instagram.com/shopbotanicallyyou/ and stay up to date with us.




Now that you have gotten a recap of the Beauty Showcase event, I will list the many ways that you and others can support and empower women and girls in whatever they are apart of.

  •  Go to their event. It seems so simple, but this will show them that you care enough to support them in what they are doing with their lives.

  •  If they sell a product, a craft, or sell a service and you love. Just buy it. If you would have quickly brought the same product or service from a complete stranger, then buy it and don't ask for a discount. They have bills to pay too. 

  • Spread the word. If you find that you know others who are interested in those type of products, crafts, and service, then tell others about it.
  • Encourage. If you know people who dream to become something or like someone they aspire to be like, encourage them that they should make those dreams come true because anything is possible. You just have to put your best at it.


I hope this post inspired you to support and empower your friends to become who they dream to become and working on becoming as well. Not only do I hope, I inspired to support your friends, family, and even people you just meet on the street, but I also hope that I inspired you to do the same. 

Thank you, and see you next month!


Thursday, March 1, 2018

Hairstyles to try this Spring

          It is now March 1st, and I know you are ready for that beautiful warm weather especially if you had to deal with the Winter cold weather as I have. Spring is the best time to explore new fashion trends and hairstyles, and that's what I am going to take the time discussing in this article.

          If you are new to my blog, you may not be aware that I wear my hair natural most of the time. I've been natural for almost three years, and I just love the journey, but I want to do some more exploring with hairstyles this Spring and Summer. I hope some of these hairstyles inspire you too.



This style is called Fake Locs. I absolutely love how she has one side of her head shaved. I feel as though showing this hairstyle shows bravery because not many people can pull off this look.



This style is braided with hair added to it. What makes it very different from the traditional braids with added hair, you start your hair in sections that you want to be the size of your braids, and you put those sections into individual ponytails with rubber bands. Once all the parts have rubber bands on them, you get the added hair and wrap it around the hair then braid. After making the braid, get another rubber band to close the ends. You do that for all your braids. And Walla, you have this hairstyle.



So this used to be my favorite hairstyle during the first year of my natural hair journey because it was so simple and cute at the same time. You can dress it up just by changing your scarf, and there is no excuse why you can't get your exercise in during the week.



Before I became natural, I only got my hair colored once, but now that I have been able to grow my to my original length when I had relaxers and more after almost four years I'm now ready to do some exploring and add some if not a lot of color to my hair now. This is the biggest goal I want to do when it comes to my hair.



And lastly these are cornroll braids. I find this style so beautiful and can be styled in two ways. The beads just adds to the beauty of this look.


I hope I inspired you to try something new to your hair this season just as I am inspired to do the same with mines. You can find all these pictures on pintrest.com. Your hair is your crown why not decorate it.


Thursday, February 1, 2018

The Left turn on Romance that everyone seems to keep hush about. It's about time we speak up about it!



           It's now February 1st, and that means that there are thirteen more days to prefect any possible Valentine's day plans. When it comes to Valentine's day, it is expected to be the day of expressing love towards your partner and the people you love in a unique way that you probably don't often show to them during the rest of the year. Since a lot of people like talking about the positive sides of love during this time of the month, I decided to go a different route and talk about a sensitive topic that a lot of people have a hard time talking about openly. Within this article, I hope to bring to light what the many ways that are considered a form of sexual abuse, examples of rape from personal experiences, and resources to help any possible victims that have been in a similar situation.

          In the past couple of years, there has been a lot of victims coming out to the public about receiving unwanted sexual interactions that took place among them as children or as a young adult in the childcare system and the Hollywood industries. There have been so many cases that it seems as though, a new trial comes out every other day and the states find further ways to tighten up the laws amongst childcare workers. As a childcare worker myself, I have experienced the changes within the system in the past year.

          Before I started to write this article, I did some research and found a supportive sexual violence victim organization that has helped more than 2.5 million people since 1994 nationally. This organization is called RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network). RAINN is the nations largest anti-sexual violence organization who operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800-656-HOPE [4673], RAINN.org, and RAINN.org/es) while having a partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country. They also operate the DoD Safe Helpline for the Department of Defense. The organization makes it's their mission to support sexual assault and violence victims through hosting programs to prevent sexual violence, helping survivors and making sure that sexual violators are accountable for their actions.

           On the RAINN.org website, the term sexual violence was defined as, "an all-enpassing, non-legal term that refers to crimes like sexual assault, rape, and sexual abuse." The website also mentions the many types of sexual crimes with information provided about them. The following sexual crimes listed were: sexual assault, child sexual abuse, sexual assault of men and boys, intimate partner sexual violence, incest, drug-facilitated sexual assault, sexual harassment, stalking, adult survivors of child sexual abuse, using technology to hurt others (such as pornography), multiple-perpetrator sexual assault (gang rape), elder abuse, sexual abuse of people with disabilities, prisoner rape, military sexual trauma, and sexual exploitation by helping professionals. The website also provides information about the legal role of consent per state in the United States.

          Now, you're probably wondering why I'm so passionate about this topic, and I'm going to tell you why I am. If you have been keeping up with my articles, you may remember in my December 2017 article, I mentioned that I told my current boyfriend that I am a rape victim during one of our dates before we became an official couple, but I didn't get into a lot of details about the actual encounter between the violator and me until now.

          The incident took place a few months after I graduated high school and I was in my first semester of my freshmen year of college. Around this time, a lot of people from the two high schools I attended kept finding me on Facebook out of random after I changed the name of my page to my government name. They would send my friend requests and I would accept them because I didn't take it as a big deal. Well there was one friend request that should have remained just that, but it did not. After I accepted his friend request, we messaged each other on Facebook and eventually agreed to hang out. This guy was two years older than I and was only one grade ahead of me when we was in high school. We didn't hang out while in high school, but we had casual talks through passing in the hallways. I never really found him attractive in school, but when we hung out that time it was something different about him that I liked. I felt and started acting shy; which ended up developing a full-blown crush on him. He noticed my feelings and pointed it out to me. After that day we kept hanging out. We would flirt from time to time, but there were times where he would go overboard, but I would tell him to stop. I didn't want to go that far with him because of two reasons. The first reason was that I just got into a relationship with one of my exes and I didn't want to cheat on him. At the time, he was the first and only guy I could openly say I was utterly in love with. And I just wanted some male attention that I wasn't getting in my relationship. The second reason was that his natural scent did not agree with my nose. Everyone who knows me knows that I have a thing with smells. Well one day, he couldn't control himself and decided by himself that we should fuck. I kept telling him, no, but he wasn't listening to me this time. He pulled down his pants and put on a condom then proceeded to pull down my shorts. All of this was taking place while I'm trying to get him to stop. It didn't work, and he ended up inside me as he placed me in different positions I never did before. I felt nothing because I mentally took myself out the situation and imagined that I was fucking my boyfriend instead of him.

          After that incident, I tried every way possible to forget it, and I eventually told him to leave me alone because he was now dead to me. A lot changed after that violation that I didn't notice, but others did. I started to become very clingy towards my boyfriend, but I didn't tell him what had happened to me because I was afraid that he would find the guy and possibly end up in jail. Also, I wasn't ready to admit to myself that the violation actually took place. Eventually, he ended the relationship. Another new habit I developed was my lack of trust in males besides the males in my family and my current boyfriends. Every time a male would touch me or even try to ask for a simple hug, my body would twitch to reject any form of contact from males. Also trying to forget about the incident didn't help because every time I would turn on the tv, I was reminded through the lenses of other girls and young ladies that were in similar situations as mine. Two years later after the incident, I felt as though I should tell the guy I was dating during the time of the event about it and why I suddenly became clingy during the last few months of our relationship. But every time we would talk, it felt like it was never the right time to bring the topic up until one day I was talking to a current boyfriend and he encouraged me that it was a good idea. The next time, I spoke to my ex, I told him everything. He tried his best to be supportive and tried his best to not act like an ass-hole as we exchanged messages through an app called KIK. After we finished talking, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. From the time of the incident to the two years afterward, I learned that I had personal friends, co-workers, and a boyfriend who was sexually violated as well.

          After learning that I knew people who were in a similar situation as I, I did some research and discovered that many of the celebrities I enjoyed watching as a form of entertainment or inspired to become similar too were also sexually violated. On the website, www.ranker.com, they list some celebrities who came out publicly that they were also survivors of sexual abuse. Below I will list the name of the celebrities and a summary of what happened to them and where they told their story.

1. Oprah Winfrey
. Was raped by a relative when she was nine years old. She has mentioned her story on her talk show, "The Oprah Winfrey" show

2. Lady Gaga
. Was raped by a record producer at nineteen years old, who was twenty years her senior. In 2014, she mentioned her story on the radio to radio host Howard Stern. Her song, "Swine," is about the incident

3. Shia LaBeouf
. Had been raped by a woman during his #IAmSorry performance art project in 2014. Later that year in November, he made a public claim about it

4. Gabrielle Union
. Was raped while working at a shoe store when she was nineteen years old

5. Tyler Perry
. Was raped by a mother of one of his childhood friends, who held him hostage in her house until he agreed to have sex with her

6. Fran Drescher
. She and a friend were robbed and raped in her home while her husband Peter Jacobson was attacked, tied up, and forced to watch the incident in 1985

7. Fantasia
. Was raped by a classmate while she was in high school

8. Queen Latifah
. Was sexually abused by a babysitter when she was a child

9. Maya Angelou
. Was raped by her mother's boyfriend at the age of eight years old in 1936

10. Billie Holiday
. Was raped by a neighbor at the age of twelve years old in 1926

          After looking at this list of inspiring people, I am able to look at my experience in a better light, and I hope others will be able to as well. This topic is not the easiest topic to talk about especially if it personally happened to you or to someone who is close to you. So when someone comes to you who have had this experience take place in their life, just listen because it took a lot for them to come to you about it and that means that they trust you with that information. Even if  they decided to say something years later, still listen because there are many reasons why they waited to speak up. For me, it took me two years after the incident because I didn't want the people I cared about to get in trouble or ended up in jail for defending my honor. And the other reason was that I didn't want people to feel sorry for me. A lot of survivors feels similar, for many, they just want to understand why did it take place and was it possible to avoid it before it happened. I still don't want people to feel sorry for me, but I feel as though by telling my story, I can help others who are also survivors. If you are or know someone who has been in a similar situation, please share the website, RAINN.org or give them the organization number at 800-656-HOPE [4673]. There is a light in every situation and as  Maya Angelou's states, "A wise woman refuses to be no one's enemy; A wise woman refuses to be anyone's victim." Encourage others to speak up when a wrong has taken place and just listen; do not blame them.






Cited Sources

About RAINN. (n.d.). Retrieved January 24, 2018, from https://www.rainn.org/about-rainn

Miscreants slit blind girl's throat after rape attempt |. (1250). Retrieved from http://www.orissapost.com/miscreants-slit-blind-girls-throat-after-rape-attempt/
Lists (2018). You Probably Didn't Know It, But These Brave Celebrities Are Rape Survivors. [online] Ranker. Available at: https://www.ranker.com/list/famous-rape-victims/celebrity-lists [Accessed 24 Jan. 2018].


Monday, January 1, 2018

New Year Revolutions: How to make them realistic and how to make it possible to accomplish



          It is now January 1st, the start of a new year and do you know what comes with a new year? New Year Revolutions or Resolutions, however, you like to call them. We all know those type of people who creates them and end up giving up on accomplishing them by the first six months. Were you one of those people last year in this situation? Well, this year you're going to be able to accomplish them and I'm going to tell you how while mentioning why a lot of revolutions don't get accomplished.

          The first reason why a lot of resolutions don't get accomplished is because a lot of people wait until January 1st to start working on their goals instead of working on them at the very first thought. By waiting, it will only give you more time to place negative thoughts in your head and why you should try to accomplish the goal.

          Another reason why most resolutions fail is because a lot of people create unrealistic resolutions to acheive. For example, making the goal to lose 50 plus pounds in one month, but have never been to a gym in the past five years after graduating college and still maintain the same diet that you developed during your freshmen year and is the cause of you to gain the weight you currently are. This example is unrealistic because there are many steps need to be made first before being able to lose the 50 pounds. You have to learn a work out routine that works for you and Your body and you need to learn how to create the right diet for your body as well. According to the article, "Top 10 Reasons You Don't Stick to Your Resolutions," by Jene Luciani, she believes that people need to set goals that are achievable in a reasonable time frame. Also, make sure the goals are specific. Instead of having a goal of losing weight, have the amount you want to lose in mind.

          Having too many resolutions to achieve in one year, can also play a part on why they don't get accomplished. It is better to focus on one goal at a time before focusing on the others at the same time. By trying to focus on more than one goal at a time, it can become overwhelming and may just make you stop trying to accomplish any of the goals you previously set.

          When it comes to resolutions, many don't realize that when it comes to achieving new goals that you never accomplished before, you have to retrain your mindto accept new behaviors and a change of thought processes in order to accomplish those goals and stop your previous habits. By changing your previous behavior and thought process, you will learn to be patient when it comes to seeing accomplishments within the goal and make it unlikely for you to want to give up easily when things get hard or when it seems like the goal has become unachievable. Also when it comes. To changing previous behaviors and allowing new thoughts to enter your mind, changing words of action is also essential to do. Instead of saying "I can't accomplish" " I'm trying to" and "I didn't accomplish", you should be saying, "I can accomplish" "I am going to accomplish" and "I may not have accomplished this yet, but what I did accomplish was".

          The lack of money can also stop people from accomplishing their resolutions as well. For example, one could have the goal to travel to five countries within the year, but they believe they are not financially capable of traveling according to their bank account. Jene Luciani believes that by being creative, you can be able to find less expensive ways to complete those goals.

          New year resolutions become unachievable when there wasn't a plan of action created in the very beginning. By having a plan of action, it can help you stay on track with each step leading to the ability to accomplish the goal.

          And lastly, having a lack of honesty amongst yourself while creating your new year resolutions, can be a big factor on why you're not able to accomplish your goals. According to Luciani's article, she says that a lit of times, we try to commit to goals that we believe we must aaccomplish within society's expectations, but isn't a personal goal you tgenuinely want to achieve. Instead, you should be creating your new year revolutions based on things that you actually want to achieve and creating a plan of action towards those goals.

          Now that you know why many revolutions and resolutions become ununachieved goals, you will be able to create significant and realistiones this year. I made a few myself and I'm going to make sure I take each step to get them accomplished and I hope you do the same. Stay positive, grow to become a better version of you, and of course"Happy New Year."





Sources



https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wired-success/201012/why-new-years-resolutions-fail



https://www.shape.com/lifestyle/mind-and-body/top-10-reasons-you-dont-stick-your-resolutions

Friday, December 1, 2017

Who Did I end up choosing? Part 2 of Multi-Dating: Tinder Edition

          It's officially December 1st, and I hope you been playing your cards right during the pre-season of the cuffing season because December is where the season officially begins. And let me tell you, I've been placing my cards in the right order and at the right time as I was exploring my options over the summer. As I promised you in last month's article, I said I was going to tell you who I chose to officially date and what made me make that decision.

          If you could not tell in the last article, I only favored two of the guys I met in person from Tinder. That would be Hakim* and  Calvin*. They were also the first two guys to super like me on the app and they just so happen to be Virgos. I apparently have a thing for them; we just click before I find out their sign. Before I really got the chance to figure where my feelings laid with Calvin*, I was putting a lot of focus on Hakim because I met him first so I wanted to know where our connection could lead us. At one point, he even found the time to take me to my doctor's appointment so I could start birth control and take an STD test which we both agreed to both take. My doctor's office was an hour away from where I'm currently living at now. When he initially decided to take me, he thought the location of my doctor's office was closer than where it was. And let me tell you, he was heated during both drives taking me there and dropping me back home. I even tried to calm him down with vanilla Oreo cookies. It semi-worked, and he is a hot head so I'm pretty sure you can create the picture yourself.

          Once I finally got my results back which came back negative, I texted Hakim* a picture of it hoping that he would do the same with his. But, he didn't. Instead,  he texts me saying "so now that we both have our papers and you're on birth control does that mean we don't use condoms." I returned him a question back. I asked him if I was the only person he was messing with in that way including getting/ giving head. And no I did not give this guy head, but you never know he could have been getting extra pressure elsewhere, so I wanted to be clear on all terms. I honestly wouldn't have cared that much because I was talking to other people even though I wasn't fucking them and we always used condoms when we got into action. To answer my question, he was that I was the only person he was messing with in that way at the time. I was almost tempted to say yes we could stop using condoms, but I was now becoming unsure of him and his real feelings for me. Whenever I would ask him how he felt about me, it was always in some manner as though we were friends with benefits, but nothing would have grown to become more than that. In one point into one of those conversations, he said, "Ehh you're good in my book." So now I'm confused. What the fuck is that suppose to mean? He said that it was his way of saying that he liked me. That surely sounded like a red flag to me. I mean I would have been cool with that, but I would never have a friends with benefits situation with someone and not use a condom. That would have been wild as hell, but I hear about a lot of people who do that, but that wouldn't have been okay with me.

          The next day, I was hosting an event in Upper Marlboro, and Hakim* had already known about the event, so he texted me to wish me luck. That was very nice of him even though I'm not really sure where we stand. And at the end, the event went well.

          So, now it is Sunday, and I'm still spending time with my family when I receive a text from Calvin*. He was wondering if he could take me out and of course I'm like, "where at?" He replies back, "I'm going to show you somewhere I grew up at." I reply back asking him where was this place called so I could look it up. Once he told me, I looked it up and couldn't find anything about the place, so I come up with the worst thought possible. This nigga is going to try to kill me any leave me for dead in a location, my family and friends wouldn't have been able to find me. I mean he didn't see like that type of person, but I am a Psychology major, so nothing surprises me anymore. One wrong thought and shit can go down. Plus this whole summer, all I've seen on the news were women getting harmed or killed by males they had some kind of relationship with and to make it worst, two of those crimes was located in Maryland. One in my hometown and the other one was very close from the preschool I work at. So I had real reasons to worry. So now, I'm asking my grandmother if she knows where that location was and the way she described the place to me, sounded like a lot of land that would be the perfect place to hide a body. It's funny now, not at the moment, I was scared for my life.

          Three days later, he convinced me just to go. I think the reason I decided to go because of the fear that if I said that I didn't want to go then, that would have been the last chance I wouldn't have been able to see if there was a real connection between us. Calvin* picked me up from work and took me to the place he wanted to take me on Sunday, and it was a nice place. We walked a man-made trail that had been that had some American War history and a lovely river. Placing me anywhere there is a nice view of water; I'm a fan of. I mean, I'm a Pisces, so I'm all about water. As we were walking through the trail, we entered a community park where I sat down to take a break from walking and where I told him that I was a rape victim to see how he would react. I mentioned that to him because I felt as though, anyone who gets in a relationship me must know where I come from and the reason a lot of writing will reflect on my sexuality.

          The reason I write about my sexuality and that I am a feminist because they guy who raped me, tried to blame the way I dressed made him do what he did, and I hear a lot of rape victims who were told the same thing. My goal is to encourage other victims that they should embrace their sexuality and who they are because it was not their fault that a childish as person could not handle their sexual urges. As Maya Angelou once said, "A wise woman wishes to be anyone's victim." She too was a rape victim.

          After telling Calvin* the story, we continued the walk, and we end up at a place that looks like a mall from the outside, but the inside looked like a museum/ community Rec center. From the vibes I was receiving, it seemed as though we both were having a good time. We even took pictures through out the wall, but I never saved the images from the Snapchat app to my phone because I didn't know how long our connection would last, so there wasn't any need have couple-like pictures on my phone when we were not an official couple. He felt the same, so there weren't any hard feelings. And at the end, we went out to eat at a restaurant; I have never been to call Nando's Peri- Peri. The food was good, and the date was great. I'm glad I went. And it seems like no one wanted the date to be over. After dinner, we went to a Wine & Spirit store and got some red wine and Brandi then headed to his place. Yea, yea I know, you're probably wondering what kind of combination is that, but I guess we were on cloud nine.

          Before heading to his place, he warned me about his pits and how one was very big and liked jumping on people. Well, that's exactly who greeted me at the door, and the bigger pit almost licked me on my lips. I guess it's a good thing; I like dogs and most animals like me. We headed to his room where we sat, talked, and had drinks. At some point, I fell asleep on the bed, and I woke up to find that it was almost 3 am. The sexual tension I was receiving, I knew I had to go home before I did something, I wasn't yet ready to experience with him yet, so I asked him to take me back home. I didn't tell him the complete reason for my decision. I only told him that I felt more comfortable sleeping in my own bed. I text Calvin* the very first thing the next morning telling him that I had a good time with him so he wouldn't think I wasn't interested in him. He replied back, "Anytime, next time bring a change of clothes and stay the night." I agree to the arrangements with no second thought.

          The same day, I get a text from Hakim* apologizing for being distant with me and how life has been very challenging for him. I replied back, "Yea it kinda felt that way. Is everything good now? I kinda missed you this week". He kept his reply short by saying, "Nope." I waited almost a whole day hoping that at some point he would tell me what was happening in his life that was causing him to be distant, but I got nothing until I texted him first. I told him that I guess he did not trust me enough to tell me what was going on with him or that he must have already figured that I wouldn't have been able to understand so there wouldn't have been a good reason to tell me. After talking for awhile I learned that he did, in fact, was having some family, emotional, and financial problems. This should have been a red flag for me to realize that it would be possible to pursue anything more with him other than a friendship at that time, but I kept my hope alive and was interested in helping him in way I could have possibly helped.

          Later that day, Calvin* hit me up telling me to get ready for tomorrow because he was going to take me out to go swimming in the river after work and to bring a towel and a change of clothes. He wanted me to wear my green aqua and white bikini swimsuit, but I purposely was saving that swimsuit for my Vegas trip I was going on the following week. We even had a little debate on why I should be wearing it for him and not for the randoms located in Vegas. I won the debate, and I choose a pink and red two-piece swimsuit instead.

          The next day, I hear it was supposed to rain, but by the time Calvin* picked me up from my house, it seemed like it was coming to an end, and we resumed our plans. But by the time we went to his house so he could put on his swim trunk and head towards the river, it started pouring extremely heavy. Luckily for us, I brought my umbrella just in case.

          The view was nice, and it was a good thing he had a waterproof jacket to cover our clothes and my bag of items. And it was also a good thing I had an umbrella, or we could have gotten sick. I sat in his lap while I was holding the umbrella, sitting in the river until it was starting to get dark outside. We walked barefoot heading back to the car since it was still raining. Thanks to my skinny feet, I could feel every damn rock. OUCH!!! After drying off, I just put my sweat jacket on because I didn't feel like putting my leggings back on.

          We then arrived at the Wine & Spirit store, and I stepped out the car, and as I was getting ready to fox my "not long enough" to be a shirt dress, some middle age white man was staring at me. I'm like oh okay damn, and I felt like damn that must have been the look white men gave before raping black females during the slavery days. Calvin* was ahead of me when this was taking place, so he didn't know what was happening until he saw old dude's facial expression and that's when he turned around and saw that it was me, the dude was staring at. Oh well, I'm wearing a swimsuit, can a girl just live in piece without having to feel like dudes only look at me like I'm a piece of meat! I get similar stares while inside the store as well, but more males and females side talking about me like I didn't notice. As we got the drinks, the cashier asked both of us for our I.Ds. I left mines in the car because he was the one buying, so the lady told me to wait outside especially since I had blurted out that I was 21 without even thinking. He took a long ass time before getting out the store. Once in the car, I learned that she was trying to go smack on him and asked he questions about what we were doing before coming to the store. He told her, and her response was, "I wish someone did that with me" and whatnot. Can you tell that drinking will now be one of our favorite past times?

          We returned to his house where he believed it was a good idea for us to take a shower together. At first, I was like, "are you sure about this," and he was like "yea" so I went for it. His shower was too small to fit two people. It was a good thing that neither one of us was fat. He thought he was going to finger me while in the shower, but not on my watch. He didn't do it.

          After our shower, we put on night clothes on, watch Spiderman Homecoming, ate dinner with our drinks, and I end up falling asleep about five minutes before the movie ended since I had already seen the whole film before. I then woke to the feeling of my whole back wet and realized that he got sick and I woke him up to tell him what happened. My first though was, "Oh no this boy didn't just throw up on my back." He cleaned up; we took another shower together, he gave me another shirt to sleep in, changed the bed sheets, and went back to sleep.

          When morning came, I put on my well fitted black dress with pink flowers and my black wedges. I was feeling "Bad Ass and Delicious" in the dress and Calvin* really liked me in my dress too. Once we both were dressed, we headed to my apartment so that we could have breakfast. I cooked cinnamon pancakes and bacon while he took a nap on the couch. When the food was finally prepared, he said that the pancakes were good, but the bacon could have been cooked a little longer so it could have been more crunchy. We then got ready to head to the County Fair.

          Once at the fair, Calvin* was still feeling sick so he didn't get on that many rides because most of the rides were spinning rides and he felt as though they would have made him throw up. The fair was still fun for me. Actually, it was really fun for me because I wasn't scared of the heights on any of the rides I went on. I think I got rid of my fear of heights. "Yayyyyy." I'm getting closer to my goal of being able to jump out of a plane one day. We even took a picture of us on the swings and at that very moment, that's when I could really see myself offically dating him and cutting Hakim* off.  When we left the fair, it was the perfect timing because precisely after we got out the parking lot, it started raining heavily. We headed back to my apartment after grabbing some children from the grocery store. Since I cooked breakfast, he agreed to cook me dinner, and it was agreed on that he should spend the night. Do you see what I mean? Every time I hang out with a Virgo male, nobody wants to end the date, and one date ends up being two or more day mini-adventures. Anyway, we took a shower together.

          After the shower, we watched the first season of Super Store when all of the sudden I'm getting fingered and I didn't stop him. Then he thought was about to fuck but I shut that request down. He even pulled out a condom and proceeded to put it on even when I was telling him to not even open it. The reason why I shut down the request this time was because he told me that his longest relationship was only four months long and that he's been single for nearly three years. How can I  feel secure when knowing that? I couldn't. Also, I was experiencing mixed emotions. I was going to end up fucking two guys in one month and at the same time. I wonder if dudes feel this way when they are fucking two or more chicks in a short period of time. And since I was starting to really like him a lot, I wasn't trying to become another fuck buddy if he ended up disappearing on me. He even asked me why, but I couldn't give him the answers I was contemplating in my mind so I gave him no answer at all and we just end up going to sleep that night.

          The next day, I woke up early like I usually do and he remained sleep, so I decided to do some homework until he wakes up. When he finally wakes up around twelve in the afternoon and asks if I could take a break from my writing. I guess now he wants to get some attention.

          I put my book and pen down, and he dragged my legs towards him and started finger fucking the shit out of me. Then eventually he pulled out the snake, and I was like, "you need a condom." That's when he told me that he only had one and that I wasted it yesterday. I mean, I didn't tell him to open it, in fact, I tried to stop him, but he was well determined that something was going to happen last night. Luckily, I have endless Magnums in my drawer and handed one to him. And just like his finger, he fucked the shit out of me. The whole time, he was making outbursts to me that felt like compliments. Afterwards, I asked him if I was now just all talk like he once said I was while I was laying sideways on the bed while placing my right hand on my hip and looking him in his face. It took him a minute before he said anything. His pause was the only thing I needed as my answer. Calvin* left my apartment with the removal of all his chest hair removed since he said that every female who had a problem with it never tried to do anything about it, so I was up for the challenge. The facial expression he made when he saw his hairless chest for the first time was priceless. I didn't see him until after I came back from my Vegas trip.

          So while I was in Vegas, my friend and I took a stripper class in hopes to be able to bring some moves back to Maryland. I mean Vegas is one of the best places to learn how to strip right? The class even taught us how to give a lap dance. So I thought this was the perfect time to try out the moves on Calvin*. I told him to sit in the chair in front of me and asked him if he had a song in mind. He said, "I have a feeling that you have a song in mind." I honestly didn't have a song in mind. There were so many songs to choose from. I then sat on his lap facing him and told him that while I dance, he couldn't put his hands on me. I got up, walked to my room, and came back with a scarf which I tied his hands to the chair. Within two minutes I chose the song, Birthday Sex x Foreign," by William Singe. I hid near the corner as I  was contemplating how I was going to start this dance. Before William began singing, I decided to take my oversized tye-dyed t-shirt off and model walk in my bra and boyshorts while still holding the shirt in one hand. Once I'm at arm's length, I slowly swung the shirt around his neck, to then move the shirt over his shoulder and on the floor it went. I sat down on his lap with him between my legs and undid my bra from the back and tossed it to the ground. Then I held his face from the bottom of his chin and lowered it to my bigger boob and let him suck on it for awhile before letting go of his chin before I started grinding on him. From the front to the back, that ass was moving, and I even twerked on the dick. I sat back down on him, stared into his eyes and grabbed his face once more so he could suck on the other breast, and he did. Then I got up and took my back and white shorts off and let it slide off my right leg and let it land on the floor. More grinding took place, and I pulled his pants down that revealed everything. That's when the song ended. As I was untying the scarf from around his hands, I had a question to ask. "Am I the first person to give you a lap dance?" The answer was yes. I replied back, "Good. I like being first." Then we did the deed from the couch to the weak ass table in the living room part of the kitchen. And let me tell you, that table felt like it was going to break down with me on top of it. In the end, he told me that I looked good on that table.

          It is now almost the end of August and the Fall semester is about to start, and it seems as though, I've been spending a lot of time with Calvin* and none with Hakim*. On the 24th of August, I snapchatted Hakim* to see if we were still going to the crab feast. He replies back, "I got my car broken into today at 9:15 am. In my head, I reviewed all the excuses he's been giving me so far, and now I'm shouting "BULLSHIT." I'm was getting tired of it. On to new people! I messaged him expressing the bad luck we have when it came to every time we had something planned. He would either get physically hurt landing him into the hospital because he thinks he's Incredible Hulk; has something that was work related that needed to be completed, or he would just so happen to forget about our plans. He doesn't reply back "Whatever," I say in my head. At that point, I knew we weren't going to the crab feast. Hakim* about to get cut off very soon.

          The next day, Calvin* and I was supposed to go on a dinner date, but in the midst of getting his keys, a nerve popped out of his knee. At the time, I felt as though he was blowing me off just like Hakim* just did with the crab feast the day before. So, I just didn't want to hear any of what he had to say. Also, I was mad because I just got dressed entirely, fixed my hair, put on lipstick, and put on my nude colored heels, so I was not in the mood to hear that type of news. I then took off all my clothes off leaving my underwear and bra on, wiped the lipstick off my lips, and slid into bed. I woke up two times and both times two hours passed. I then decided to turn my phone off and went back to sleep. When I woke up again, that's when I turned the phone back on. It seemed like Calvin* tried to message me on snap and probably even tried to call. I snapchatted him back to say, "If you tried to contact me, I was sleep. I'm going back to sleep." I don't remember what he replied back, but it was something short like "okay."

          I woke up the next morning and realized how insensitive I was acting yesterday towards Calvin*. I decided to send a message to apologize. Two hours passed, I get nothing from him, I try again. Two more hours passed, I tried again. I kept doing this all day. I still get nothing. I even tried to call him a couple of times, and it went straight to voicemail. I then left snapchat messages, text messages, and voicemails that I was planning to see him later that night. I still didn't get anything. At this point, I believed that he blocked me. But, I get to thinking, why would he do that? I know I was acting bratty, but I didn't say anything bad. I even searched on Google, "How do you know when someone blocked you on an Android phone?" Do I sound "obsessed" or very in my feelings? I even went as far is having a friend text him to see if either his phone was off, was ignoring my messages, or was I really blocked. Right after she said she was down for the cause for my emotional ass, Calvin* hit me up and I found out that he was in the ER for most of the day and his phone went dead while he was in the hospital. Now I feel really bad about being a brat. I really need to work on that. I guess maybe I have more feelings for him that I'm really ready to admit to myself and now I really want to drop Hakim* to the left of Tinder and keep Calvin* to the right. Two days later on August 28th, me and Calvin* started to officially date and decided to cut the other people off.

       
If you haven't noticed in this story, I chose Calvin* because we had a great connection and friendship, he made time to see me and go to activities with me. He has a passion for the things he loves, he is a family person, has high goals for his life, and of course, he's very attractive to the eye.

*The names have been changed to protect their privacy

If you liked this article and part 1 of Multi-dating: Tinder Edition be on the lookout for my book, "Adventures of a Pretty Young Thing," that will be released in the new future.