Dear Black Girl, You Don't Always Have to be The Strong One

                                                               Image found on Google


          Does it seem as though, we as women and girls have to be the strong one in and out of the Black Community when it comes to protecting members within the community, gaining the respect we deserve at the work place, breaking glass ceilings, and being recognized for more than our physical features?

          When it comes to the Black Community, throughout history, women and girls within the community  had no choice but to stay strong when their ancestors were forced in the life of becoming an American slave. Within both the Black Community and White society, the "strong Black woman" stereotype has caused and still causes a lot of challenges among women and girls of color in the United States. If you feel this is true then this article is for you. In this article, I will be exploring these ideas and how we can remove this unneeded weight off our shoulders.

          During the time of the Slave Trade that took place in the United States, the Europeans had already had their own standards of feminine beauty and acceptable feminine characteristics. Black women during that time did not fit those standards at all. Black women weren't even viewed as humans  in the European eyes. They were reduced to only property, physical features, and the many types of labors they could perform for the Europeans. In Jordan-Zachery's text, "Shadow Bodies," she elaborates on the Europeans' views and their intentions for the Black woman' body. She states that the "Europeans' scripted Black women's bodies as different, highly sexual, and the "other" (Jordan-Zachery, 30). The slave masters and other Europeans viewed Black women's bodies as "ugly, exotic, different, sexualized, deviant, and dangerous" (Jordan- Zachery, 33). Black women of that time would also be known for their many physical features, for example; their lips, nose, and their butts. These features and titles will later become the well-known scripts people in both the White and Black communities will later use to describe and associate with the Black woman.

          With these stereotypes surrounding Black women and girls for centuries, we as Black women and girls of color have to remind White society, members in our own community, and even ourselves that we are more than our physical features. Our features should be embraced, appreciated, celebrated, and seen beyond sexualization. Women and girls of color who recognized their worth can become so passionate about getting others to recognize the complete beauty of the Black Women and girls that outsiders see them as being "too strong." Well we are not being "too strong," we are just continuing a stand our ancestors started and what the White society once said was "ugly," "unhuman," "ghetto," and "non-feminine," among women and girls of color but is now considered modern beauty among White women. We are just reclaiming what has already been ours and will always be.

          In schools and in work places, we have to create and maintain this so called "strong Black woman" stereotype image. There has been so many cases where Black women and girls were judged by our choices in appearance especially when it comes to the choice to wear our natural hair out in public, the thought of believing that we, Black people are "lazy;" which is another European created stereotype, and the false belief that we were not smart enough to become known for anything more than for the use of  our bodies and the sexual things we could do with it to please men. With these believed stereotypes, we have to work harder than both our White and gender counterparts in order to be recognizable in the work place and in school settings as people of great value. These stereotypes also makes it harder for women of color to break the "glass ceilings" when they are trying to move up the ladder of their careers especially when they don't know nor seen anybody that looked like them succeed in the lifestyle and career of their dreams.

         Since the introduction of television programing, social media, and other informational sources, people has been able to receive a lot  of knowledgeable information that they wouldn't have otherwise been able to gain in the past especially once it enters mainstream media. But while having this new technology is a great source to have, Black women have had to push harder to overshadow negative images of Black women with positive and different ideals of what it means to grow up in America as a woman of color. This has been an important goal among members of the Black Community because they understand the large impact "racial representation" have on outsiders of that race and is responsible for the many created and believed stereotypes placed on people of color. Racquel J. Gates, the author of "Double Negative," speaks on this topic in her novel. She states:

"While on the surface, such declarations lay claim to the need for social change and the power of media to achieve it, these types of statements are based on several problematic assumptions. These include the notion that media representations have a direct and straight forward impact on people's ideologies, that media images matter more than histories of institutional oppression, and that audience always interpret images in predictable and knowable ways. These suppositions are rarely questioned in the public sphere, but, instead, are taken at face value as objective truth" (Gates, 12).

          When women and girls of color see representations of people that look similar to them and living their dream lifestyles, attending colleges and majoring in various studies, breaking glass ceilings within one's careers, and participating in activities that are not normally see among women and girls of color; it inspires and motivates them to try new things after knowing that Black women and girls are participating in activities and living lifestyles that they never knew they could be apart of or live until they seen and met people who has. This is why I'm passionate in telling my stories to others and motivating Black women and girls to become the best versions of themselves. I  want them to also know that their past does not define them and that they should always follow their passions in life because their passions will take them to a lot of places and will also create many opportunities for them while they inspire others around them too.

          From Gates statement, she understands how easy for a representation shown on mainstream media can turn into what people's expectations is for any group of people especially when it comes to our group of people. Not only does these representations become other people' expectations, members from the group being represented will start to believe that they must participate in those expectations and make the stereotypes their own ideologies. Gates even mentions how inferential children are more likely to believe anything they see online and on television especially when it comes to race, gender, and sexuality (Gates, 21). It is important for people especially young children to see different types of representations within other communities of people and most importantly their own.

          Representative imagery are shown to the public through many forms of media such as; photography, art, the internet, social media, television shows, movies, books, etc. In the beginning of the movie and television industries, people of color wasn't allowed to be seen on a stage, but the Europeans would make their own interpretations of the life of Africans and African Americans through black facing white actors. When producers started allowing people of color onto the screens and on stage, it was only Black men allowed to participate. These men also had to blackface themselves in order to hit mainstream media attention. The interpretations performed by both Europeans and African American men as blackface actors only kept the tradition of showcasing negative images of the Black Community through the art of comedy, melodrama, and reality television programing (Gates, 30).

          When Black women were allowed to be seen on screens and on stage, they would experience discrimination in the roles selected for them to play. This discrimination would only create many assumptions of the life of a Black woman and how a Black woman or girl should be treated by the shade of her skin complexion (Gates, 112). Many of the first movies that allowed women of color to participate in and were usually based on the Slavery and Segregation time periods. They would play characters of house slaves or slaves that remained outside the masters' home completing tasks. These women also had to portray women who were always manipulated by others but would continue to help them. These actors also had to play very strong-minded women who couldn't show any vulnerability. These interpretations only supported the "strong Black woman" stereotype as well.

          While representations play a huge part on how us, Black women and girls see ourselves and motivates us to becoming different versions of a Black woman; negative imagery and stereotypes that the Black community adapted and accepted also plays a role as well. Let's start with the images of Black women portrayed in the video, "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp," by Three 6 Mafia. In the video, the rappers showed women of color as being promiscuous and as prostitutes. This imagery dates back to the Slavery days when European scientists and Physicians believed that women of color were highly sexual, exotic, and had ape-like sexuality (Atwater, 13). With Three 6 Mafia and other Black entertainers that promote this type of imagery about Black women are no better than the Europeans during the time of Slavery. People in the Black community, particularly the males within the community should be very protective and careful of the images they release about Black women and girls in mainstream media because whatever comes out from the Black Community about its members easily gets taken as face value and seen as fact among people outside the community. This also fits with the way Black women on reality shows are seen getting mistreated by their Black male counterparts. You would think Black men would stand up for us Black women more than what the majority of them are currently doing to make sure members of the White society don't believe the many stereotypes made about Black women that are either not true or only relates to a small population of us; especially when the Black woman has always tried and has protected and defend the men in their lives.

          At the end of the day, viewers of these shows can come to believe that all Black men and boys are players while Black women and girls are seen as always being naïve. This makes it very easy for outsiders of the Black Community to believe that Black people cannot develop healthy romantic relationships and we always find ourselves in failed relationships. Because of these stereotypes and the negative imagery that supports them, there has been an ongoing movement of Black women demanding respect from both rap artists, the entertainment industry, and Black men in general, which society considers "sassiness" that has been included to the "strong Black woman" stereotype. One of those campaigns were, "Bury the Ratchet Campaign," it was founded by Michaela Angela Davis in hopes to end the number of problematic stereotypes found on reality television shows featuring women of color. It's important for both Black men and women to demand to society and members in the Black Community themselves, should get the respect and recognition we deserve.

           In Jordan- Zachery's work, she mentions how the Europeans has always seen women of color as people who were  "nonhuman" and "the other gender" to state that we were objects who displayed non-feminine characteristics, and were only for the benefits to others since the time of Baartman (Jordan- Zachery, 41-42). This just caused women of color to be stereotyped as the "strong Black woman." According to the Europeans, to be considered a "real woman," one must be "soft," "delicate," and "weak." This is when Black woman became known for their outspokenness that ended up being called "sass" to the White Community and eventually became another adopted script the Black Community adopted and adapted too.

          In the text, "Black women writing Autibiography: A Tradition Within a Tradition," the author Joanne Braxton gives her readers a background history on where the term "sass" originated from. Braxton states that the term "sass" was a survivalist speech act that was utilized by Black women during and after slavery (Everett, 55-56). She also mentions how the slave women would use their
"sass" by stating that for slave women, it was their way of expressing verbal warfare and as a defensive verbal posturing as tools of liberation.

          In today's time, women of color are still using their "sassy" language in the United States, their goals are reflective while uplifting the Black Community just as it was used among Black women during the Slavery and Segregation time periods. While many women of color and some Black men have been active on the fight to spread different ideals of Black women to add to the main stereotypes; a lot of  women who has remained in popular media have had to continuously play the role of the "strong Black woman" in order to gain and keep the respect from both the White society and the Black Community. The "strong Black woman" stereotype ideal has been seen and expected from Black women during the years of Slavery through Segregation that now the Black Community expects it as acceptable and necessary quality Black women should have in order to be respected within the community.

          During the time of Slavery and segregation, the reason why Black women have been expected to remain the "strong Black women" for the Black Community is because in the Black church, it was needed in order to deal with "the nation's problems" (Carey, 86-87). The Black women were seen as the  "backbone" of the church so many felt as though they didn't have a choice but to remain strong at all times even outside the church. But, when Black women and girls show the other members within the community their vulnerability, they are rejected from being the community's voice and "backbone" (Jordan- Zachery, 128). While members of the Black community view Black women as the "back-bone" for the community, the rest of society portrayed Black women as "matriarchal and castrating and too strong to succumb to depression" (Jordan-Zachery, 131).

          While being a "strong Black woman" may seem like a positive imagery to have for women and girls of color; carrying that title all the time is tiring and messes with one's health. For example, when it comes to the medical field, they use the "strong Black woman" stereotype in order for them to determine and reject women of color the proper treatment when they mention to their physicians that they are ill. So when and how are we, as Black women and girls, going to be able to take off our battle suits and remove the "strong Black woman" stereotype from remaining a required personality we must have in order to gain respect and recognition from both the Black Community and White society? Iyanla Vanzant believes that its possible for Black women and girls to do so.

          Vanzant is all familiar with this topic and skilled in helping women of color to overcome difficult life situations and overcoming the belief of  always having to be a strong Black woman. Carey quotes Vanzant's statements on how Black women will be able to complete their journey towards wellness. Vanzant says, "we must teach ourselves to crave out time and space for self-exploration to begin the healing process because their power source is inside of them." "We must teach ourselves the things we need to know that we have never been taught, and we need to remember those things we have forgotten"... "We need to redefine and describe our experiences, practices, and beliefs in the context of the experiences and traditions of our ancestors..." and "expand our traditional African concepts, ideologies, and understandings to make them conductive to the constructs and realities of our modern day psyches" (Carey, 55-56). Through Vanzant's statements, she encourages women of color to explore life in ways to help create your own ideals and meaning of what it means to live in the body of a woman or girl of color. She also mentions how we are the only ones to be able to tell our stories and concerns. This has been my overall goal when it came to writing my memoir. I hope to show a new ideal of a confident Black women who don't always have to be the "strong Black woman" in every situation and inspire others even men and boys on how to become the best versions of themselves.

          As the Black Community, we as members, should be able to uplift and support one another especially when there are a lot of negative stereotypes and created ideals going against us. According to Atwater, the only way for us to become stronger as a community we must strengthen and rebuild our male/ female relations and families on the underlying understanding of mutual respect, equality, reciprocity and shared responsibility in love, life, and the struggle to end the evil and injustice events that surrounds us as a community (Atwater, 139-40). It is important for us as a community to come together and uplift each other because of the simple fact that Black youth looks up to the older members within the community for guidance and support. When young girls of color see certain images, they will easily be influenced to imitate such acts; if they are not given the proper education and not exposed to different ideals of representations of a Black woman, they will develop low self-esteem and believe that they must always act a certain way in order to be recognized and respected as a Black woman (Atwater, 140).

So Dear Black girl or woman,

You don't always have to be the strong one and I'm going to show and tell you why. Let's conversate and watch as you grow to become your own ideal of a confident Black woman.

Sincerely,

The Modern Aphrodite

Bibliography 

• Atwater, Deborah F. African American Womens Rhetoric: the Search for Dignity, Personhood, and Honor. Lexington Books, 2010. 

Carey, Tamika L. Rhetorical Healing: The Reeducation of Contemporary Black Womanhood. State UNIV OF NEW YORK PR, 2017.  

• Everett, Anna. Digital Diaspora: a Race for Cyberspace. SUNY Press, 2009.  
• Gates, Racquel J. Double Negative: the Black Image and Popular Culture. Duke University Press, 2018.  
• Jordan-Zachery, Julia Sheron. Shadow Bodies: Black Women, Ideology, Representation, and Politics. Rutgers University Press, 2017. 

Mental Health in the Black Community

          As I was strolling on Facebook earlier last month, I came across an article that I started seeing being shared among my Facebook friends. When I first glanced at the article when it was first shared, I thought it was an interesting topic and something I would check out later. I never got to reading the article almost towards the end of the month of July. 

         Within the month progressing, the article continued to be shared and people I personally knew where commenting how they could relate to the things that were mentioned in the article. This article is titled, "15 Habits of People with Concealed Depression," and it became one of the reasons I wanted to focus on this topic for this article. 

         If you've read any of my earlier work, then you know that I have experienced some form of depression in my life, but I was able to get the right resources in order for me to heal mentally and go back to being my true self. 

         My interest in this topic grew more when I was watching an episode of "Grown-ish." The episode was focusing on mental health problems that takes place within the Black Community. After watching this episode, reading the comments posted under the article on Facebook, and recently had my two-year relationship end because of this matter; I was left with the question, "Are we (the African American Community) doing enough to recognize the signs of depression and anxiety that takes place among members of our own community? And are we actively doing enough to support and give them the needed help they need and deserve in order for them to heal from their traumas?

         In this article, I'll showcase a conversation I had with a group of male friends from the Black Community who has expressed to me previously before writing this article about the things they had to face while living with depression and anxiety. I chose to focus on males from the Black Community because I feel as though this group of people receive the least amount of support when it comes to their mental health versus when it comes to the amount of support females from the Black Community receives who has also experienced similar traumas. I also learned that last month was "Minority Mental Health Awareness Month.

          My goal for this article is to give this group of people a chance to express what we can do to improve mental health awareness in the Black Community, a chance to speak their truths, and how mental health breaks up many types of relationships among family, friends, and love interests.

1. When did you first realize you was experiencing depression and anxiety?

Sean: When I left home for Lincoln University at the age of 19. I wasn't sure about the symptoms back then, but I knew I felt low

William: Probably around elementary school. My family moved a lot and I never was able to make friends. And when I did, we ended up moving again and it wasn't like it was down the street or near the same neighborhood. We've moved all over D.C.

Kevin: I think since I was 13, but I didn't completely rationalize it till I was an adult around 19 or 20

2. Have you sought out to get help and guidance from a counselor or a psychiatrist? If so, what was your take from it?

Sean: Didn't really seek out for help, but my mom really helped me out. I'm seeing a counselor now. She's like a family friend. She said I had something like Psychosis. It's like when you're feeling like people are against you. During the sessions, she treats me like I don't have a problem. She'll ask me how my day's going and stuff like that

William: Only attempted once. Getting professional help is definitely beneficial. It comes down to comfortability. People like going to people they know then going to a complete stranger, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to start over with trusting someone I didn't know

Kevin: Yes I started seeing a therapist in August 2018 and it was the best decision of my life. I learned to take care of myself before others, which is what I struggled with for a long time. For years I put everyone before myself and it slowly ate away at me and made me angry at everyone, cause I was angry at myself

3. Do your friends and immediate family know about your traumas with your mental health?

Sean: Um yes, my sister knows. My Mom knows. One of my close friends knows. Actually, he was there during the worst of it

William: Most of my friends and my immediate family knows. Me and my family are pretty distant. The only one who truly knows is my sister

Kevin: Yes, my friends know and I am open on talking about the trauma and my mental health growth. I have inspired one of my friends to go to therapy recently

4. Have you tried to tell someone close to you how you feel and what you been through?

Sean: Yeah my homegirl. I told her around the time I broke my finger

William: Yes, I did attempt to tell a family member. I wouldn't say it went downhill and went on a judgmental route, but they weren't going through the same things as me so they didn't understand what I was going through

Kevin: I tried to tell my mom about this early on. but it was dismissed

5. What does it feels like to live with depression and anxiety on a day- to- day basis?

Sean: It's like a job because whenever you get those symptoms I have to go through a checklist of things to get out of it

William: It's like you never know what you're going to wake up too. Some days, you feel like everything is okay, but other days, it's like it's going to be your last day

Kevin: It's a struggle, always feeling on edge, feeling less than or not good enough. Like I am going to fail at everything I do

6. What have been your chosen method(s) of overcoming your daily traumas?

Sean: Listening to music helped me out. I used to go to church. That helped a little bit. I felt safe. That's when I started my own spiritual journey. Talking to my friend, Khary and my mom. I have started working out. Now when I'm feeling depressed, I listen to music and go through a checklist of all the things that's going good and bad in my life. And usually I find that there are more good things happening for me than bad. That helps me fight my depression. Knowing that I'm not alone also helps me. By focusing on fitness and health, I learned that a lot of people go through some form of depression and anxiety

William: Between long walks, music, and my poetry

Kevin: Honestly anime has been helpful. Watching anime with confident characters such as Vegeta from Dragonball Z or Naruto from Naruto

7. Do you have any close family members who has also experienced depression and anxiety? Who were those members? Did they receive any support or resources to help them with their personal traumas?

Sean: My brother is going through the same thing as me. He's a brother from another mother (half sibling). Seems like he don't get that much support as me, but he's now in a group home and when I talk to him, he seems like he's getting better

William: The most recent to my knowledge, my nephew was experiencing depression who ended up competing suicide. It seems like he wasn't getting the right support. After talking to his mother, she said that she didn't see the signs. His dad knew he was battling with depression and he was Schizophrenic  

Kevin: Yes, I feel a lot of my family dealt with trauma, but I do not know the steps they've taken to address it

8. While living with depression and anxiety, have your mental health got in the way from creating meaningful relationships? How so?

Sean: Yea. Um, a close friend. She really wasn't my girlfriend, but a close friend. I didn't really tell her until we got into an argument. I really wasn't open to her back then about what I was going through. One day, I asked her to be my girlfriend and she kinda shut it down. I felt as though she knew I needed to grow more. We're still friends now, but I think the fact that I wasn't open to her back then; it messed up our chances of being together

William: Yes. For the ones like family members who couldn't understand what I'm going through. It has caused conflict among the relationships. They feel like I was pushing them away and they wasn't trying to understand what I've been going through

Kevin: Most definitely, I took out a lot of my mental anguish out on my partners and friends, not physically of course. I lost a lot of friends cause of it. I came for everyone else's insecurities cause I couldn't deal with my own. I know I can't fix the damage I've done, but all I can do is learn from it and move on

9. What do you wish people from the outside looking in knew about living with depression and anxiety as a Black male born and raised in the United States?

Sean: I wish they knew the confusion that African Americans go through trying to figure out who they are. We don't know our true origins unlike other races and even Africans. They don't understand the pressures of knowing who we are, understanding the effects of broken homes. The school system and entertainment don't focus a lot on how great we are and that we came from Queens and Kings. They don't understand our confusion

William: I just wish people would be more passionate about learning and understanding what we are going through instead of assuming and telling others to "get over it" and that "it's not that bad." They should want to learn about our struggles and know us as a person

Kevin: I want people to know that black boys cry in silence and sometimes we just need an opportunity to be vulnerable

10. Are we (everyone including the Black Community) doing enough to recognize the signs of depression and anxiety that takes place among members of the Black Community?

Sean: I don't think so because if they were they would teach in school how to mediate and how to take care of our mental health

William: I don't believe so. With the many suicide cases taking place, they aren't doing enough to create awareness to end the rate of suicide

Kevin: No not at all, its dismissed and seen as a sign of weakness. We celebrate people getting out of jail more than tackling and defeating mental illness

11. Have you met or know any females of color who has or are experiencing depression and anxiety? Can you point out any differences, Black females and males face and deal with when it comes to depression and anxiety?

Sean: I have met somebody like that. I can tell she's going through depression because I follow her on social media and it always seem like she's down. When we met, I tried to lift her up... I haven't been in a lot of relationships to know, but it seems like Black females are depressed about their natural features. They say things like, "My nose is too big." They feel as though they can't get males attention with their natural features. When it comes to Black males depression it comes from feeling like they have to compete with other males for women' attention

William: One of my female friends experiences depression. She's lesbian. Most of her depression comes from lifestyle choices and her fight for equal rights. I don't really see a difference between males and females of color experiencing depression and anxiety. We both try to level each other out

Kevin: Yes, I've dated women of color ( I only date women of color) who suffer from mental illness and its a struggle cause typically families aren't as open about it. Due to that it falls to me having to be a support system for them while dealing with my own issues

12. Do you feel Black females gain more support or just about the same as Black males when it comes to getting the resources needed to overcome depression and anxiety?

Sean: The only reason why Black females get more support than  the Black male is because culturally expressing feelings as a male is shown as weak... Women are more in tune to their emotions then men because we are supposed to stay focus. Men are taught to suppress our emotions because expressing feelings is a sign of weakness. Pride is a factor as well

William: I feel like it's equal grounds. Both genders have similar resources to get help if they want that type of help. But, you know, we can become our own roadblocks. When it comes to blocking our trust in people, not wanting to open ourselves through stubbornness, and taking things on our own because we are scared of being judged

Kevin: I feel that black men are less supported, but that's due to black men being seen as emotionless

13. What can the Black Community do to improve mental health care among the members of the community?

Sean: It's happening now. Recreation. They are building more recreations, but they need to step it up. Creating Gogos and events where we are able to come together instead of being isolated

William: I feel like the ones that experience depression and anxiety should form groups and host talking events to help the ones that are struggling with their mental health as well. This will show others that they are not alone

Kevin: First of all, allowing the conversation to begin unabridged. Once that starts it will flourish and be perfect

14. From reading the article, " 15 Habits of People with Concealed Depression," What is your take on the article? Can you relate to any of the mentioned items listed in the article?

Sean: On the first one ( They are often quite talented and very expressive), people who are depressed are often talented and very expressive. I feel as though I'm talented, but I don't get the encouragement to explore the talent. It can lead to depression. Another one is that you care too much where you don't focus on yourself and end up thinking about yourself last. And I can relate about knowing your purpose in life. When you don't know your purpose right away, it can cause you depression. That's when your patience comes into play

William: I definitely felt the article to heart. The article was kinda emotional. It felt like the person who wrote the article took the time out to understand what takes place with others experiencing depression. I could relate to all the topics mentioned

Kevin: I can relate to the article, but I would like to see a similar one done looking exclusively at people of color

15. Are you okay with using your real name or would you like to remain anonymous?

Sean: Yes, you can add my name. It'll make me seem more human and relatable to others

William: It doesn't matter to me

Kevin: Yes, you can use my name

          From this conversation I had among friends, it really opened my eyes on the things males of color living in the United States go through when it comes to living with depression and anxiety. This conversation also provided me with another perspective on what my ex seems to be going through currently that lead to our recent separation.

         If you paid attention to what these guys mentioned above stated. They all feel as though, we are not doing enough to support people in the Black Community when it comes to minorities mental health. The Black Community in itself is not really supportive or wants to acknowledge that depression, anxiety, and other mental disorders and illnesses do take place among our own racial community. It saddens me that while we have a whole month of July to give awareness on this matter, we haven't really progressed in actually doing anything about it. What I'm happy to hear though is that all three friends are either getting help from a professional to heal their traumas or at least tried too. They also mentioned something very important that most people dealing with depression and other mental health illness do. They was basically saying that, "Staying to yourself and participating in isolation, is something one should not do when it comes to battling mental illnesses." They also expressed how beneficial it is to go see a counselor or a psychiatrist at least once just to gain more understanding on one's mental health. And lastly, they came up with good examples on how we can

improve mental illness awareness among the Black Community. 

         You may not think you know anyone living with any form of mental illnesses or battling different types of traumas, but in reality you probably do. You may not be able to recognize all the signs or their change in behaviors, but if they come to you to finally address it, Please don't and I mean Don't, " dismiss their feelings and the things they say to you about their experiences." You can be that one person they can confide in too and may encourage them  to search for resources to help them heal mentally. I hope in this article, you gained something new and inspired you to contribute in some way to spread awareness as it has for me. See you next month when we conversate on another important.

Seven Straight Years of College: What's the Move Now!

Taking Pictures Around the Campus the Weekend Before Graduation Day

          When I first started my college career seven years ago, I had a dream to become a successful published writer and somehow be able to travel all over the United States and around the world, but I had no idea how to turn that dream into a reality. I started college at Prince George's Community College where I eventually received my Associate degree in General Studies.

         During the first semester at Prince George's Community College, I enrolled in classes as a journalism major. For the entire semester, people close to me was asking me how I was going to complete my goal of becoming a successful writer. At the same time, these were the same people telling me how a lot of authors don't get their books published until many years later. Their comments really discouraged me into making me believe that I would never get my work published let alone become very successful at it. After doing some research on my favorite authors such as Nini Simone, I learned that they majored in Psychology while in college. This new found knowledge lifted my spirits and inspired me to continue my journey  of becoming a published writer.

          I originally wasn't planning to attend a traditional college when I started high school. I was really into modeling at the time and was hoping to attend The Arts Institute to master the craft once I graduated , but my mind changed when I enrolled in a program called, The Upward Bound Trio Program, at Prince George's Community College during the summer heading to tenth grade. Through this program, I was surrounded by a lot of people around my age and looked like me who had higher goals then I could ever imagine having for myself. This is where I thought about giving traditional college a try and my interest in modeling started to decrease dramatically. By the time I finished tenth grade, my interest in writing came back. For the next two years, I spent participating in creative writing activities such as writing songs and poetry, being a part of the yearbook team, joined the school's choir, and writing short stories.

Spirit Week at Upward Bound Summer Camp

During my senior year of high school, I applied to a few schools around the country and in Maryland, but sadly I only received a small amount of scholarship money from schools or was denied acceptance. With the help from the Upward Bound program, they helped me with the FAFSA application and getting enrolled in classes at Prince George's Community College by the time the second session of classes  started in September.

          I would spend three years in community college and it was life changing. I was originally planning to stay at the school for no more than a year before transferring to a University. After learning that I could receive more scholarship money by graduating at a community college first, I decided to stay until completion. I never changed my major to Psychology because I learned earlier that not all the credits would transfer if the University didn't have a placement for the credits. That's why I changed my major from Journalism to General Studies.

          While at Prince George's Community College, I reconnected with old friends from high school and family members who were also attending the college. I gained self-confidence with myself mentally and physically through learning about my peers background stories and compared them to mine. I learned that Black Americans, Caribbeans, and Africans were taught differently about each other and that is why there is a large divide among the entire Black community. I also got a set of poems published in the school's art and literacy magazines three semesters in a role.

          Getting published showed me that it was possible for me to become published sooner than I thought and that there were actually a group of people who liked my work. It also showed everyone who was telling me how long it typically took to get published, that I was the small population who could beat the odds. Once enrolled at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County, I applied to be the school's Newspaper poet and got the job. I was the one and only poet they had for the newspaper. I was the poet for one semester until they decided to take out the poetry section out of the newspaper.

One of the reveals for the PGCC Art & Literacy Magazine 

          The atmosphere I received from UMBC was completely different from the atmosphere I received from PGCC. When it came to PGCC, it  felt like a HBCU whereas at UMBC felt like a good  representation of diversity working together as a community. I purposely chose not to attend an HBCU because I felt as through I had already gained all I needed to gained when it came to self-confidence and pride as a Black woman at PGCC so it was now time to expand my horizons to what the real world really looked like.

          While I was gaining a lot of positive experiences at UMBC, the first semester was very nerve wracking. The old habits I used to pass my classes at PGCC was not helping me at all with my classes at UMBC. I felt all the students in all my classes was extremely smarter and ambitious than me. By midterms, I almost felt like a failure and should just drop out. That is until I had a talk with one of my psychology professor, Dr. Shawn Bediako, and he told me that all students especially transfer students had similar experiences and feelings during their first semester at UMBC. I did drop out of one class that semester though. Every time I hit a breaking point with my classes, I remembered that talk and kept pushing forward until the very end. Not too long ago, I went to an event on campus for an English course and ended up sitting next to Dr. Bediako where I told him how much that talk we had three years ago had really helped me with the future classes I would take after the first semester and that I was now considered a senior.

          As you read the previous paragraphs on how I started my college career as a journalism major to graduating PGCC with an Associates in General Studies to later enrolling into UMBC as a Psychology major; you're probably wondering how I ended up graduating four years later as a double major in Psychology and English with a concentration in Developmental Psychology; well there is a story behind that too.

          As I was enrolled at UMBC as a Psychology major, I was minoring in English because I didn't want to take only psychology classes every semester. While I was interested in Psychology since high school, I always had a passion and love for writing. By the time it was time for me to enroll in a college course level math class with a passing grade of  C in order to take the last core class I needed for my Psychology degree, I changed my major to English on a Communication Technology track and minored in Psychology because I thought I wouldn't have to take anymore math classes, but I was completely wrong. I still had to take another math course because I received a D in Pre-algebra at Prince George's Community College; which was acceptable for graduating community college, but not for graduating UMBC or most universities.

          After being a UMBC for a complete school year, I wanted to remain on campus for the summer. I found a job at Columbia Academy and made a deal with my Dad that if he paid for the summer rent for my apartment, I would enroll in the needed math course over the summer. My first day working at Columbia Academy was on Graduation day for Undergrads at UMBC.

          While working as a preschool teacher aide and remaining a full-time student, I became inspired to expand my education. When I was looking at the different programs I could enroll in, I found an interest in the Developmental Psychology concentration. I though it was a Bachelor degree program, but it was only a concentration certification. In order for me to receive the concentration I had to complete a Psychology degree as a major. As I looked at all the credits I completed so far, it only made sense to just double major in Psychology and English while completing the Developmental Psychology concentration.

Working at Columbia Academy
Took Pictures for a feature as UMBC Intern of the Week in October 2018

          Fast forward to a year and a half later, I graduated from UMBC on May 23, 2019 with degrees in Psychology and English with a concentration in Developmental Psychology. The week following graduation, I spend going to a lot of interviews and received my concentration certification in the mail. The next week I was hired as a lead teacher in a daycare/ preschool center in D.C. called Goldie's. I've been working here for a little over a month now and my college education with my previous experiences working in a center is paying off greatly.

Just one of the Nature Spots on Campus

At the School Library

The School's Mascot. The Golden Retriever

What Does UMBC stand for you say?
University of Maryland, Baltimore County

Graduation Day May 23, 2019

Graduation Day May 23, 2019

Graduation Day May 23, 2019

Graduation Day May 23, 2019
What's Hotter than 1 degree? 2 Degrees
with a Concentration

Working at Goldie's
The D.C Local Fire Department came by to Visit the School

So what's the plan now, you say?

          Since the last month of college until now, I've been applying and interviewing for international teaching jobs to teach English as a second language. This process for me has been more competitive than finding a job in the states. I am also enrolled in an online course in order to gain my teaching English certificates before heading out the United States for international work. I am also planning to take the DMV test to get another permit and enroll into a local driving school. And lastly, I will be finishing up my memoir and getting that and my children books published through self-publishing.

          From being in college for seven years, I've learned that college is all about what you make of it during your time there. It can become a positive experience or a waste of time, depending on the goals you have for your life. For me personally, I entered college with the mindset that I had a true passion for English and writing and it should be pursued. But, when I started focusing on getting a degree where I could get a good job and placed my passion in a folder, that's when everything went downhill. Once I regained my focus to make my passion work for me and create the lifestyle I have always pictured myself living, my experience in college changed dramatically. I also learned how to make college work for me instead of making college just work for them and the government.

          My advice for current and future possible college students, do not pick a major for nobody else but yourself. When choosing a major do not pick it because you believe you will make a lot of money in the possible field. Pick your major(s) through your pure interest in the subject. Once you declare the major, find groups on campus and internships/ jobs that fits in that educational background and participate or apply for the internship/ job. This is the best way to know whether pursing that degree and entering that career field is for you. If you find out that the majority of the job does not interest you the way you believe it should, don't consider yourself a failure or that you didn't work hard enough to like the career choice because figuring out what you like and don't like when it comes to work environments is about  growing into the person you are meant to be and what you truly want in life. Spend all your college years exploring your options and possibilities in all aspects of your life because being in college is really your last chance to be indecisive about your future career and it's an okay thing to do. Search for other programs you're interested in and change your major and internship that fits your new major and interests. Lastly, do not wait after graduating college to get a paying job. You never know when your going to need to pay for your way for certain things in order to get your degree. Those things can be paying what's left of your tuition, paying to fix something on your car, or paying for your health needs. Having a job while in college will make your resume look good too. Also, there is nothing wrong with attending community college. It is not like the thirteenth grade. It feels like a regular college campus just not as big as a University. You will also save a lot of money and gain additional scholarships by attending one as well. I wish you all the best of luck on your next journey as I'm entering mine. See you all next month.

These are the Titles I've Grown to Become Over the Years

New Chapters Awaits Me