It's officially December 1st, and I hope you been playing your cards right during the pre-season of the cuffing season because December is where the season officially begins. And let me tell you, I've been placing my cards in the right order and at the right time as I was exploring my options over the summer. As I promised you in last month's article, I said I was going to tell you who I chose to officially date and what made me make that decision.
If you could not tell in the last article, I only favored two of the guys I met in person from Tinder. That would be Hakim* and Calvin*. They were also the first two guys to super like me on the app and they just so happen to be Virgos. I apparently have a thing for them; we just click before I find out their sign. Before I really got the chance to figure where my feelings laid with Calvin*, I was putting a lot of focus on Hakim because I met him first so I wanted to know where our connection could lead us. At one point, he even found the time to take me to my doctor's appointment so I could start birth control and take an STD test which we both agreed to both take. My doctor's office was an hour away from where I'm currently living at now. When he initially decided to take me, he thought the location of my doctor's office was closer than where it was. And let me tell you, he was heated during both drives taking me there and dropping me back home. I even tried to calm him down with vanilla Oreo cookies. It semi-worked, and he is a hot head so I'm pretty sure you can create the picture yourself.
Once I finally got my results back which came back negative, I texted Hakim* a picture of it hoping that he would do the same with his. But, he didn't. Instead, he texts me saying "so now that we both have our papers and you're on birth control does that mean we don't use condoms." I returned him a question back. I asked him if I was the only person he was messing with in that way including getting/ giving head. And no I did not give this guy head, but you never know he could have been getting extra pressure elsewhere, so I wanted to be clear on all terms. I honestly wouldn't have cared that much because I was talking to other people even though I wasn't fucking them and we always used condoms when we got into action. To answer my question, he was that I was the only person he was messing with in that way at the time. I was almost tempted to say yes we could stop using condoms, but I was now becoming unsure of him and his real feelings for me. Whenever I would ask him how he felt about me, it was always in some manner as though we were friends with benefits, but nothing would have grown to become more than that. In one point into one of those conversations, he said, "Ehh you're good in my book." So now I'm confused. What the fuck is that suppose to mean? He said that it was his way of saying that he liked me. That surely sounded like a red flag to me. I mean I would have been cool with that, but I would never have a friends with benefits situation with someone and not use a condom. That would have been wild as hell, but I hear about a lot of people who do that, but that wouldn't have been okay with me.
The next day, I was hosting an event in Upper Marlboro, and Hakim* had already known about the event, so he texted me to wish me luck. That was very nice of him even though I'm not really sure where we stand. And at the end, the event went well.
So, now it is Sunday, and I'm still spending time with my family when I receive a text from Calvin*. He was wondering if he could take me out and of course I'm like, "where at?" He replies back, "I'm going to show you somewhere I grew up at." I reply back asking him where was this place called so I could look it up. Once he told me, I looked it up and couldn't find anything about the place, so I come up with the worst thought possible. This nigga is going to try to kill me any leave me for dead in a location, my family and friends wouldn't have been able to find me. I mean he didn't see like that type of person, but I am a Psychology major, so nothing surprises me anymore. One wrong thought and shit can go down. Plus this whole summer, all I've seen on the news were women getting harmed or killed by males they had some kind of relationship with and to make it worst, two of those crimes was located in Maryland. One in my hometown and the other one was very close from the preschool I work at. So I had real reasons to worry. So now, I'm asking my grandmother if she knows where that location was and the way she described the place to me, sounded like a lot of land that would be the perfect place to hide a body. It's funny now, not at the moment, I was scared for my life.
Three days later, he convinced me just to go. I think the reason I decided to go because of the fear that if I said that I didn't want to go then, that would have been the last chance I wouldn't have been able to see if there was a real connection between us. Calvin* picked me up from work and took me to the place he wanted to take me on Sunday, and it was a nice place. We walked a man-made trail that had been that had some American War history and a lovely river. Placing me anywhere there is a nice view of water; I'm a fan of. I mean, I'm a Pisces, so I'm all about water. As we were walking through the trail, we entered a community park where I sat down to take a break from walking and where I told him that I was a rape victim to see how he would react. I mentioned that to him because I felt as though, anyone who gets in a relationship me must know where I come from and the reason a lot of writing will reflect on my sexuality.
The reason I write about my sexuality and that I am a feminist because they guy who raped me, tried to blame the way I dressed made him do what he did, and I hear a lot of rape victims who were told the same thing. My goal is to encourage other victims that they should embrace their sexuality and who they are because it was not their fault that a childish as person could not handle their sexual urges. As Maya Angelou once said, "A wise woman wishes to be anyone's victim." She too was a rape victim.
After telling Calvin* the story, we continued the walk, and we end up at a place that looks like a mall from the outside, but the inside looked like a museum/ community Rec center. From the vibes I was receiving, it seemed as though we both were having a good time. We even took pictures through out the wall, but I never saved the images from the Snapchat app to my phone because I didn't know how long our connection would last, so there wasn't any need have couple-like pictures on my phone when we were not an official couple. He felt the same, so there weren't any hard feelings. And at the end, we went out to eat at a restaurant; I have never been to call Nando's Peri- Peri. The food was good, and the date was great. I'm glad I went. And it seems like no one wanted the date to be over. After dinner, we went to a Wine & Spirit store and got some red wine and Brandi then headed to his place. Yea, yea I know, you're probably wondering what kind of combination is that, but I guess we were on cloud nine.
Before heading to his place, he warned me about his pits and how one was very big and liked jumping on people. Well, that's exactly who greeted me at the door, and the bigger pit almost licked me on my lips. I guess it's a good thing; I like dogs and most animals like me. We headed to his room where we sat, talked, and had drinks. At some point, I fell asleep on the bed, and I woke up to find that it was almost 3 am. The sexual tension I was receiving, I knew I had to go home before I did something, I wasn't yet ready to experience with him yet, so I asked him to take me back home. I didn't tell him the complete reason for my decision. I only told him that I felt more comfortable sleeping in my own bed. I text Calvin* the very first thing the next morning telling him that I had a good time with him so he wouldn't think I wasn't interested in him. He replied back, "Anytime, next time bring a change of clothes and stay the night." I agree to the arrangements with no second thought.
The same day, I get a text from Hakim* apologizing for being distant with me and how life has been very challenging for him. I replied back, "Yea it kinda felt that way. Is everything good now? I kinda missed you this week". He kept his reply short by saying, "Nope." I waited almost a whole day hoping that at some point he would tell me what was happening in his life that was causing him to be distant, but I got nothing until I texted him first. I told him that I guess he did not trust me enough to tell me what was going on with him or that he must have already figured that I wouldn't have been able to understand so there wouldn't have been a good reason to tell me. After talking for awhile I learned that he did, in fact, was having some family, emotional, and financial problems. This should have been a red flag for me to realize that it would be possible to pursue anything more with him other than a friendship at that time, but I kept my hope alive and was interested in helping him in way I could have possibly helped.
Later that day, Calvin* hit me up telling me to get ready for tomorrow because he was going to take me out to go swimming in the river after work and to bring a towel and a change of clothes. He wanted me to wear my green aqua and white bikini swimsuit, but I purposely was saving that swimsuit for my Vegas trip I was going on the following week. We even had a little debate on why I should be wearing it for him and not for the randoms located in Vegas. I won the debate, and I choose a pink and red two-piece swimsuit instead.
The next day, I hear it was supposed to rain, but by the time Calvin* picked me up from my house, it seemed like it was coming to an end, and we resumed our plans. But by the time we went to his house so he could put on his swim trunk and head towards the river, it started pouring extremely heavy. Luckily for us, I brought my umbrella just in case.
The view was nice, and it was a good thing he had a waterproof jacket to cover our clothes and my bag of items. And it was also a good thing I had an umbrella, or we could have gotten sick. I sat in his lap while I was holding the umbrella, sitting in the river until it was starting to get dark outside. We walked barefoot heading back to the car since it was still raining. Thanks to my skinny feet, I could feel every damn rock. OUCH!!! After drying off, I just put my sweat jacket on because I didn't feel like putting my leggings back on.
We then arrived at the Wine & Spirit store, and I stepped out the car, and as I was getting ready to fox my "not long enough" to be a shirt dress, some middle age white man was staring at me. I'm like oh okay damn, and I felt like damn that must have been the look white men gave before raping black females during the slavery days. Calvin* was ahead of me when this was taking place, so he didn't know what was happening until he saw old dude's facial expression and that's when he turned around and saw that it was me, the dude was staring at. Oh well, I'm wearing a swimsuit, can a girl just live in piece without having to feel like dudes only look at me like I'm a piece of meat! I get similar stares while inside the store as well, but more males and females side talking about me like I didn't notice. As we got the drinks, the cashier asked both of us for our I.Ds. I left mines in the car because he was the one buying, so the lady told me to wait outside especially since I had blurted out that I was 21 without even thinking. He took a long ass time before getting out the store. Once in the car, I learned that she was trying to go smack on him and asked he questions about what we were doing before coming to the store. He told her, and her response was, "I wish someone did that with me" and whatnot. Can you tell that drinking will now be one of our favorite past times?
We returned to his house where he believed it was a good idea for us to take a shower together. At first, I was like, "are you sure about this," and he was like "yea" so I went for it. His shower was too small to fit two people. It was a good thing that neither one of us was fat. He thought he was going to finger me while in the shower, but not on my watch. He didn't do it.
After our shower, we put on night clothes on, watch Spiderman Homecoming, ate dinner with our drinks, and I end up falling asleep about five minutes before the movie ended since I had already seen the whole film before. I then woke to the feeling of my whole back wet and realized that he got sick and I woke him up to tell him what happened. My first though was, "Oh no this boy didn't just throw up on my back." He cleaned up; we took another shower together, he gave me another shirt to sleep in, changed the bed sheets, and went back to sleep.
When morning came, I put on my well fitted black dress with pink flowers and my black wedges. I was feeling "Bad Ass and Delicious" in the dress and Calvin* really liked me in my dress too. Once we both were dressed, we headed to my apartment so that we could have breakfast. I cooked cinnamon pancakes and bacon while he took a nap on the couch. When the food was finally prepared, he said that the pancakes were good, but the bacon could have been cooked a little longer so it could have been more crunchy. We then got ready to head to the County Fair.
Once at the fair, Calvin* was still feeling sick so he didn't get on that many rides because most of the rides were spinning rides and he felt as though they would have made him throw up. The fair was still fun for me. Actually, it was really fun for me because I wasn't scared of the heights on any of the rides I went on. I think I got rid of my fear of heights. "Yayyyyy." I'm getting closer to my goal of being able to jump out of a plane one day. We even took a picture of us on the swings and at that very moment, that's when I could really see myself offically dating him and cutting Hakim* off. When we left the fair, it was the perfect timing because precisely after we got out the parking lot, it started raining heavily. We headed back to my apartment after grabbing some children from the grocery store. Since I cooked breakfast, he agreed to cook me dinner, and it was agreed on that he should spend the night. Do you see what I mean? Every time I hang out with a Virgo male, nobody wants to end the date, and one date ends up being two or more day mini-adventures. Anyway, we took a shower together.
After the shower, we watched the first season of Super Store when all of the sudden I'm getting fingered and I didn't stop him. Then he thought was about to fuck but I shut that request down. He even pulled out a condom and proceeded to put it on even when I was telling him to not even open it. The reason why I shut down the request this time was because he told me that his longest relationship was only four months long and that he's been single for nearly three years. How can I feel secure when knowing that? I couldn't. Also, I was experiencing mixed emotions. I was going to end up fucking two guys in one month and at the same time. I wonder if dudes feel this way when they are fucking two or more chicks in a short period of time. And since I was starting to really like him a lot, I wasn't trying to become another fuck buddy if he ended up disappearing on me. He even asked me why, but I couldn't give him the answers I was contemplating in my mind so I gave him no answer at all and we just end up going to sleep that night.
The next day, I woke up early like I usually do and he remained sleep, so I decided to do some homework until he wakes up. When he finally wakes up around twelve in the afternoon and asks if I could take a break from my writing. I guess now he wants to get some attention.
I put my book and pen down, and he dragged my legs towards him and started finger fucking the shit out of me. Then eventually he pulled out the snake, and I was like, "you need a condom." That's when he told me that he only had one and that I wasted it yesterday. I mean, I didn't tell him to open it, in fact, I tried to stop him, but he was well determined that something was going to happen last night. Luckily, I have endless Magnums in my drawer and handed one to him. And just like his finger, he fucked the shit out of me. The whole time, he was making outbursts to me that felt like compliments. Afterwards, I asked him if I was now just all talk like he once said I was while I was laying sideways on the bed while placing my right hand on my hip and looking him in his face. It took him a minute before he said anything. His pause was the only thing I needed as my answer. Calvin* left my apartment with the removal of all his chest hair removed since he said that every female who had a problem with it never tried to do anything about it, so I was up for the challenge. The facial expression he made when he saw his hairless chest for the first time was priceless. I didn't see him until after I came back from my Vegas trip.
So while I was in Vegas, my friend and I took a stripper class in hopes to be able to bring some moves back to Maryland. I mean Vegas is one of the best places to learn how to strip right? The class even taught us how to give a lap dance. So I thought this was the perfect time to try out the moves on Calvin*. I told him to sit in the chair in front of me and asked him if he had a song in mind. He said, "I have a feeling that you have a song in mind." I honestly didn't have a song in mind. There were so many songs to choose from. I then sat on his lap facing him and told him that while I dance, he couldn't put his hands on me. I got up, walked to my room, and came back with a scarf which I tied his hands to the chair. Within two minutes I chose the song, Birthday Sex x Foreign," by William Singe. I hid near the corner as I was contemplating how I was going to start this dance. Before William began singing, I decided to take my oversized tye-dyed t-shirt off and model walk in my bra and boyshorts while still holding the shirt in one hand. Once I'm at arm's length, I slowly swung the shirt around his neck, to then move the shirt over his shoulder and on the floor it went. I sat down on his lap with him between my legs and undid my bra from the back and tossed it to the ground. Then I held his face from the bottom of his chin and lowered it to my bigger boob and let him suck on it for awhile before letting go of his chin before I started grinding on him. From the front to the back, that ass was moving, and I even twerked on the dick. I sat back down on him, stared into his eyes and grabbed his face once more so he could suck on the other breast, and he did. Then I got up and took my back and white shorts off and let it slide off my right leg and let it land on the floor. More grinding took place, and I pulled his pants down that revealed everything. That's when the song ended. As I was untying the scarf from around his hands, I had a question to ask. "Am I the first person to give you a lap dance?" The answer was yes. I replied back, "Good. I like being first." Then we did the deed from the couch to the weak ass table in the living room part of the kitchen. And let me tell you, that table felt like it was going to break down with me on top of it. In the end, he told me that I looked good on that table.
It is now almost the end of August and the Fall semester is about to start, and it seems as though, I've been spending a lot of time with Calvin* and none with Hakim*. On the 24th of August, I snapchatted Hakim* to see if we were still going to the crab feast. He replies back, "I got my car broken into today at 9:15 am. In my head, I reviewed all the excuses he's been giving me so far, and now I'm shouting "BULLSHIT." I'm was getting tired of it. On to new people! I messaged him expressing the bad luck we have when it came to every time we had something planned. He would either get physically hurt landing him into the hospital because he thinks he's Incredible Hulk; has something that was work related that needed to be completed, or he would just so happen to forget about our plans. He doesn't reply back "Whatever," I say in my head. At that point, I knew we weren't going to the crab feast. Hakim* about to get cut off very soon.
The next day, Calvin* and I was supposed to go on a dinner date, but in the midst of getting his keys, a nerve popped out of his knee. At the time, I felt as though he was blowing me off just like Hakim* just did with the crab feast the day before. So, I just didn't want to hear any of what he had to say. Also, I was mad because I just got dressed entirely, fixed my hair, put on lipstick, and put on my nude colored heels, so I was not in the mood to hear that type of news. I then took off all my clothes off leaving my underwear and bra on, wiped the lipstick off my lips, and slid into bed. I woke up two times and both times two hours passed. I then decided to turn my phone off and went back to sleep. When I woke up again, that's when I turned the phone back on. It seemed like Calvin* tried to message me on snap and probably even tried to call. I snapchatted him back to say, "If you tried to contact me, I was sleep. I'm going back to sleep." I don't remember what he replied back, but it was something short like "okay."
I woke up the next morning and realized how insensitive I was acting yesterday towards Calvin*. I decided to send a message to apologize. Two hours passed, I get nothing from him, I try again. Two more hours passed, I tried again. I kept doing this all day. I still get nothing. I even tried to call him a couple of times, and it went straight to voicemail. I then left snapchat messages, text messages, and voicemails that I was planning to see him later that night. I still didn't get anything. At this point, I believed that he blocked me. But, I get to thinking, why would he do that? I know I was acting bratty, but I didn't say anything bad. I even searched on Google, "How do you know when someone blocked you on an Android phone?" Do I sound "obsessed" or very in my feelings? I even went as far is having a friend text him to see if either his phone was off, was ignoring my messages, or was I really blocked. Right after she said she was down for the cause for my emotional ass, Calvin* hit me up and I found out that he was in the ER for most of the day and his phone went dead while he was in the hospital. Now I feel really bad about being a brat. I really need to work on that. I guess maybe I have more feelings for him that I'm really ready to admit to myself and now I really want to drop Hakim* to the left of Tinder and keep Calvin* to the right. Two days later on August 28th, me and Calvin* started to officially date and decided to cut the other people off.
If you haven't noticed in this story, I chose Calvin* because we had a great connection and friendship, he made time to see me and go to activities with me. He has a passion for the things he loves, he is a family person, has high goals for his life, and of course, he's very attractive to the eye.
*The names have been changed to protect their privacy
If you liked this article and part 1 of Multi-dating: Tinder Edition be on the lookout for my book, "Adventures of a Pretty Young Thing," that will be released in the new future.
