When it comes to dating, for some people age is an important factor when it comes to choosing potential partners. For others, age may not be an important factor but age can affect your dating life greatly. In this article the main focus will be people who dates or prefer people who are older than them. I will cover the pros and cons of dating someone who is older than your senior. I will also include a few examples of people who explains their reasons why they prefer to date people who are older than them.
If someone would have told me a year ago that I would soon become one of those people who are attracted to older men, I wouldn’t have believed them at all. In the previous year, I was determined to grow up to become a cougar and marry a younger man. As I started experiencing life more, my interest in younger men have decreased dramatically and my interest in older men have rose greatly. Not only have my interest in older men become very present but I’ve found that I’ve been attracting a lot of older men lately. And I’m starting to like the interactions I’m having with them.
As a young woman saying that she’s interested in older men have already created many stereotypes for myself. Many people believe that young women only want an older man because they’ll have someone who can take care of them financially or that they’ll be considered mature because they were able to attract someone who were much older than them. I’m going to first say that these two stereotypes are sometimes true, but in most cases they are not. According to Heather Jensen, who is a blogger for the site “All Women Talk”, she believes that there are twenty-one reasons why women date older men. The first reason she listed was that older men are more established. Of course being more established would be the first reason to be listed since it’s the main stereotype most young women who date older men receive from outsiders. The second reason why women dates older men is for his intelligence. When it comes to older men they tend to have more educational thoughts and conversations than when it comes to trying to have similar conversations with younger men in most cases. The third reason is that older men are well- read. If you are the type of woman who loves herself a good book and would like a man who shares the same type of appreciation for books, older men are more likely to share that with you. Heather’s fourth reason is that he is more likely to have a career. This reason goes back to the first reason; which is to find someone who can take care of you finically. Even though her statement holds some truth, she does exaggerates that “older guys can be anything from CEO’s of great companies or they can be on the fast track to VP(vice president)”. In some cases this statement holds truth, but because of the way the economy is structured today it’s unlikely that every older man you date will be completely financially stabled as it probably was a century ago. The fifth reason is that older men have great manners. Who doesn’t like a guy who has manners? The next reason listed is that he won’t change you. This means that the older guy you date is least likely to try to hold much control over you and is willing to take you as the person you are. The seventh reason for a young woman to date an older man is to having more sexual experiences than she already has. Who doesn’t like keeping things interesting in the bedroom? I don’t know about you, but I sure do, so why not have someone who can teach you some new tricks. You just might surprise them and show them some tricks of your own. The eighth reason is that he has his own place. This is another reason of Heather’s that I found was overly exaggerated. In today’s reality, most men and even women won’t be financially ready to move out of their parents’ home until the age of thirty or older. Heather’s ninth reason is that the thought of a young woman dating an older man is taboo. That being said it means that society has deemed it unacceptable to do or to have take place. The tenth reason is that older men are more mature than younger men. The eleventh reason goes a long with the tenth reason. That reason is that older men are done playing the field. In many cases, at a certain time of a man’s life he starts to realize that it’s enough with the games and it’s now time to settle down and start a family. This usually takes place once he enters his middle to late twenties. The twelfth reason would be that older men are better communicators than younger men. Since good communication skills are very important to have when it comes to a successful and a fulfilling relationship then having an older man can be very rewarding to have. The thirteenth reason is that opposites attract. This statement is very true for more than just age differences. The fourteenth reason is the belief that the older the man gets the more attractive he becomes. This statement can hold true when it comes to a man mentally, but not all the time when it comes to the physical appearance. The fifteenth reason is the same as the fifth reason, which is that older men are more chivalrous. Being chivalrous is another way to say having manners. The sixteenth reason is that by dating an older man you’ll feel young. The fact that you’re dating someone older, you’re going to be and feel younger then him regardless of your initial age. It seems as though Heather broke down the reasons why young women date older men in a repeated fashion because in the seventeenth reason she puts that you won’t have to pay. This reason as well fits under the reason of being taken cared of finically. The eighteenth reason is that young women find that attracting an older man is a challenge that they want to win. The nineteenth reason for a young woman to want an older man is because he’ll be able to give her protection. Just knowing that he is wise enough to make smart decisions and choices when it comes to a dangerous situation can make you feel well protected and safe in any life-threatening situation. The twentieth reason is that it’ll be a change for her if she’s used to dating men who are around her age or younger. If dating younger men hasn’t gave you the results you’ve been searching for in your previous relationships then making this change can’t be too bad to make. At least giving it a try shows you’re openness to change. And finally we have reached the last reason on Heather’s list is that she just loves him and age was never a factor in dating him. This is one of the more common reasons for a young women to date an older man.
Now that we’ve covered Heather’s reason why young women date men who are older than them, we will now cover Andrew Moore reasons why younger men like to date older women. Just for women who dates older men there is a stereotype for men who dates older women. The stereotype is that younger men only date older women for her advanced sexual experience. This stereotype can hold some truth in most cases, but that’s not the only reason why younger men dates older women. On the site Ask Men, the blogger Andrew Moore came up with ten top reasons why young men date older women. Moore starts off his list with the tenth reason. The tenth reason listed was that older women are independent. Moore mentions that older women love their independence and that they are “typically more” comfortable being alone. Unlike younger women, older women wouldn’t be as clingy or needy towards their partner. The ninth reason listed was that older women are assertive. In this statement, Andrew is saying that older women are able to express their feelings better than younger women and are least likely to continue to play the field (playing hard to get). The eighth reason why young men date older women is because they can offer them a good conversation. This is simpler to the reason why younger women date older men, they are able to speak on various topics since they’re experienced more in life than younger people. The seventh reason is that older women have more money. By dating an older woman who earns her own money, the younger guy don’t have to worry too much on giving her money all the time. The fifth reason is more of an opinion but Moore states that older women make better dates. He says this because he finds that older women have more sophisticated tastes and likes to go a lot of grown up activities; whereas he feels as though younger women are mostly interested in “getting stupid drunk and passing out in a public washroom”. For his fourth reason listed was that older women are less drama-phone. When Andrew makes this statement he is saying that older women have a more mature group of friends and does not try to be a part of any activities that can lead to drama. For Andrew’s third reason why younger men dates older women is because older women have more sexual experience. This reason is the biggest known stereotype for men who dates older women. This stereotype can be a reason why a younger would date an older woman, but usually it’s not the only reason. The second reason is that older women have more relationship experience than younger women. Moore says that older women know how to handle the trials and tribulations associated with relationships because they’ve been through it all before. And lastly, the number one reason why younger men dates older women is because they will value your time together. Andrew feels as though older women are more appreciative of the time you spend together and they aren’t likely to be reckless with your emotions; whereas younger women often don’t take men, relationships, or life in general seriously.
Now that we’ve covered both Moore and Heather’s reasons why younger people date older people I’m going to break down the reasons even further and add more realistic scenarios why dating someone older may be a better option for you or someone you know who prefers to date older people. When we first see a couple who are obviously generations apart we always imagine that it’s for the reasons Jahmil “Jae” Eady prefers dating older men. Jahmil Eady is a 26 year old African American woman who goes by the name Jae as one of the women featured on the show, “#BlackLove”, which is on the television station For Your Information (FYI). On the show, she was set up on a blind-date and finds out that the guy was younger than her. When she found out his age she mentioned that it made her feel uncomfortable. On the date she learned that the guy was younger than her by a year and that he liked to play video games and was an Entrepreneur. He said that he chose the path of being an Entrepreneur because he didn’t like wearing suits and didn’t want a 9 to 5 job. He never mentioned the career. He was everything she wasn’t used to when dating a man. In her dating background she always preferred older guys. The guy she was currently seeing pervious to the show is in his forties. The guys she is used to dating were established, liked fancy things, and liked to be dressed in suits. In the first episode of the show, she tended to date older guys because she wanted someone who was already established in their career. Even though she dates mostly older men, she once dated someone who was younger than herself. She said that the relationship went horribly wrong. This is when she made up her mind that dating older men was the only way to find someone who had all the qualities she wanted in a man. Her upbringing played a huge role in her dating preference. When she was growing up in New York she was around a lot of poverty. That is why she found it important for her to have financial stability in her relationships. Jae shows the perfect stereotype of younger women who prefers to date older men, but as we already covered that’s not the only reason why women date older men. On the site, Madame Noire, the blogger Kschlicher does in depth on why women are attracted to older men with seven reasons. In the reasons it should have been expected that they crave to have someone who can provide them with financial stability. As Jae mentioned on the show by dating a financially stabled man she will be able to live in a more secure and comfortable space. For Kschlicher’s second reason was that she lacks a father figure. When I first read this reason I thought this was a crazy thought to believe but as I read his reasoning it all started to make sense. Kschlicher states that older men have paternal instincts and may pamper his spouse more than a younger man. When he states this he is saying the older the man gets his instincts to protect and to be able to provide becomes second nature to him. Another thing he stated about this reason is that some women who didn’t have a stable male figure growing up so she’s searching for a partner who can be that role for her. For those women looking for a father figure when they realize that they don’t need to continue to look for a father figure they will start to look for a mate. The third reason why women are attracted to older men is because of their maturity. This reason I can greatly agree with and may be the main reason why I’ve became attracted to older men lately and less interested in younger men. In Kschlicher’s statement, he mentions that older men have generally been through a lot of ups and downs in their lives and because of those experiences they become more mature than their younger male counterparts when it comes to both relationships and life in general. The fourth reason is that children aren’t their number priority to have. This reason alone is why I was determined to find a man who was around my age or younger because I don’t want to be the only active parent in the household but for the women who don’t see themselves having kids, by having an older man as a partner may be the perfect fit for them. In most cases those older men may have already had children from previous relationships and don’t plan on having any more children. The fifth reason listed was that those type of women attracted to older guys were afraid of being cheated on. I can understand where this thought came from knowing that older men should be done playing the field and have matured mentally to want to start a family, but not all older men are like that. There are older men who believes they are still too young to be in a committed relationship regardless of their physical age. The sixth reason reads “You’re a tad bit lazy”. When I read the title, I reread it again with a side-eye but after reading what the blogger meant I started to understand. What Kschlicher meant by “you’re a tad bit lazy”, he is saying that those younger women who are not really looking for an energetic guy in the bedroom then by having an older guy won’t be a problem. It will only be a problem if you are looking for that type of energy from your man. And the seventh reason why young women may be attracted to an older man is because older guys are more willing to show chivalry to women. The term chivalry is not a popular term used in today’s dating scene because it seems as though young men wasn’t taught how to treat women taught how to treat women and since women have been taught to become independent, they don’t know when they should let the man lead and take charge. Even though these reasons focused on why young women are or become attracted to older men, I find that these same reasons apply to young men who are or becomes attracted to older women too.
When it comes to someone being attracted to someone who is older than them sometimes age was never a factor. For Ankit Mathur who is a featured writer on the site, “The Guardian”, he ended up in a committed relationship with an older woman but it wasn’t because of any of the reasons mentioned above. He honestly thought she was younger than she was. She was 39 years old at the time and he said that she looked younger than 39. They met at a social gathering event that was organized by an online international network in the month of March 2014. They spend several hours debating about the results of a U.S. survey about poverty and the economic system, but that’s it. They left their separate ways without exchanging numbers. They didn’t see each other again until months later. They spoke through email as he was signing up for another event, she emailed him saying it would be nice to see him again. He reminisce how he found her attractive when they first met and how he felt an immediate spark among them during the debate they had months prior. When they met up again at the event he took more notice of her but again he left without getting her number. That is when he contacted her through the meetup email the very next day. After that everything fell into place and they became a couple. Mathur never mentioned the lady’s name, but she wasn’t the first older woman he dated. In his previous relationship before his current, the lady was twelve years older than him. So does that make him a man who is in search for an older woman? No, because he also still finds women around his age and younger attractive as well. He now just have a larger selection to choose from. I would say I’m the same way. In the beginning of the article I mentioned how I thought I would become a cougar in the future and marry a younger man, but recently I’ve became attracted to older men. When I said this, that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t date a younger man in the future. It just means that I’m willing to date someone who is either older or younger than me.
While writer Ankit Mathur may had a previous experience with dating someone who was years older than him, for writer Karley Sciortino it was a different story. For Sciortino her pervious relationship was with a guy who was a few years younger than her so when an older guy started to take notice of her, she didn’t know how to react. She published her experience on December 5th, 2013. She had her first experience dating an older man the past winter before writing her article. The guy was a successful tech entrepreneur and he was in his late forties, making him twenty years older than her. She went on three dates with him. He made her feel comfortable because while she was with him, all her responsibilities disappeared and he took care of everything. This was unusual for her because she was used to taking care of herself and who ever she would be dating at the time. But with this man she was seeing it was a different experience. During this experience, she was able to see the benefits of dating someone who was older than her. She said that dating the older guy didn’t have anything to do with being financially stable by him, but she found that he had more knowledge about the world and was confident in himself. He was also not impressed with the use of doing drugs like people she knew around her age. Even though this was her first experience dating an older man on a serious note it wasn’t the first time she dealt with an older guy. Back in her junior high school days dating high school guys was the cool thing to do. When she entered high school dating college guys was the next big thing because they knew about the underground bands, they didn’t live with their parents, and they could get them alcohol. As she entered college and started to find herself and independence, she found that dating older guys wasn’t as cool anymore. That is when she only dated people who was very close to her age. In some ways, I can relate to Karley. I too tend to date people who are very close to my age. I never was the type of girl to date a certain type of person because it was deemed the cool thing to do but instead I dated people of my choice and type. Both of Karley Sciotino and Ankit Mathur’s stories are just some of the many examples that shows how one can become attracted to someone older without age being a real factor.
When it comes to dating someone who is generations older or just older than you there are of course pros and cons that comes with it. Kateri Wozny who is currently dating an older man. She is a writer for Elite daily came up with a list of pros and cons that women will probably go through when dating or marrying an older guy. There are five things listed for pros. The first pro listed is that he’ll be more experienced in life. His expanded knowledge can vary from his career, relationships, skills in the bedroom, and his confidence about himself. The second pro is that he’ll be financially secure. By him being financially secure, he’ll know how to make money, how to stay on a budget, and how to prepare for retirement. The third pro for dating or marrying an older guy is that he’ll be emotionally stable. For Wozny, she found that by dating someone who is emotionally stable she is able to communicate with him whenever there is a problem within the relationship or with personal problems because he’ll be a great listener. The fifth reason is that he’ll love the idea of romance. Kateri mentioned an example of the time she went away and asked her boyfriend to take care of her apartment and every time she comes back home she find flowers on the table, chocolate or homemade gifts waiting for her. And lastly she listed that you two will look good together. This pro is more so an opinion. She mentioned that during her pervious relationship she received a lot of compliments from others. Now we have to unfortunately cover the cons of dating an older man. You know the saying, “everything good has to eventually come to an end”. Kateri listed five cons when it comes to dating or marrying an older man. The first con that is placed on the list is that he’ll be set in his ways. When it comes to dating an older man who have experienced life more in depth and have become confidence in themselves they will tend to want things his way and least likely to change. Kateri found this fact was the most challenging in all her relationships when it came to dating an older guy. The second con listed read that he’s afraid of commitment. When I read the title I found it odd. I found it odd because I never really experienced commitment issues from an older guy, I always received the complete opposite. Every time an older guy tried to build a certain type of relationship with me they usually rushed to be in a relationship without fully knowing if I was the right one for them. This is probably why I’ve always shied away from dating older guys. Back to Kateri’s list of cons, she finds it best to not rush to create a title with an older guy because he might not be ready for that type of commitment. The third con is that he’ll get compared to a father figure. I find this con ironic. I find this ironic because the popular nickname young guys and sometimes older men like being called by the person they’re in a relationship with is “daddy”, but in Kateri’s list of cons it says that older guys don’t like being considered a father figure or an old man. I find that this con only goes for guys and older men who don’t like being called daddy by their partner. The fourth con is that he’ll feel as though he has “power” in the relationship. He might find that he believes he should be able to call all the shots in the relationship because he’s older than you. Just because he’s older then you, that doesn’t mean he should call all the shots. In the article, Kateri says that both people in the relationship should equally call the shots and I one hundred agree with her because both people have something valuable to add to the relationship. Lastly, the fifth con was that he’s not going to be the life of the party. When it comes to dating an older man, he’ll want to spend most of his time in the house and less of his time outside the home. You’re going to have to try to create a balance of spending time at home and spending time outside the home. Kateri suggests that you two stay in for a couple nights by making dinner and watching a movie and doing one extreme outing during the week, even if it’s just for a bit. She also suggests that if he can’t then make it an outing with your friends.
If you haven’t noticed that whenever I cover anything that deals with why women dates or marry an older men it is always longer than anything that deals with why men dates or marry older women. While I’m going to be the first to tell you that I have. They do say that women love to talk with a lot of detail so I guess it was the same when it comes to writing. So there shouldn’t be no surprise that on the site, Ask Men, there would be a smaller list of pros and cons for men who dates or marry older women. In the article the writer Melissa LaRicca starts off with the list of cons. In the list of cons there are three items listed. The first item listed is titled “bag lady”. When LaRicca mentions the title bag lady she is saying that older women usually carry a lot of weigh and problems from pervious relationships. That weight can be caused by a various list of things such as ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands, children, financial problems, and even problems with her job. Melissa suggests that if you plan to get romantically linked with an older woman then you’re going to have to realize that an older woman generally has more to worry about than the problems you face. I can relate to both sides of this. On one side of this, I don’t just attract older guys or guys my age but I also attract guys that are younger than me and the hardest thing they could never understand was the fact that I was always busy even during my breaks from college. As I’m writing this article, I’m on my winter break and preparing to complete some more tasks before the spring semester starts. I have also have been on the other side of this as well. There would be times where I’ve found time to take a break from my activities and that would be the time where I want all the attention on me, but because the guy was just as or more busy than I was, my wish wasn’t granted all the time. The second con listed is titled Mrs. Robinson. At the first glance of the title you’re probably wondering what does being “Mrs. Robinson” means. In the description of the title it another way to say this type of relationship is taboo. This also comes into conflict with the believe that society make it seem like it is okay for an older man to date a young woman but that’s not the case the other way around. In a previous article mentioned before, the author from All Women Talk said that women who dates older men was taboo in society so which one is right? That will always be an unanswered question that needs to be answered. And the third con and a popular term that is used among a large amount of people, “The Cougar”. The term Cougar is a title given to a woman who likes to date or have sexual relations with younger men. In the article, LaRicca mentions that in this type of relationship the woman is usually in control and calls most of the shots if not all the shots in the relationship. In the same scenario where a woman dates an older man, the woman shouldn’t call all the shots and should be equally shared because both people have valuable input to include in their relationship. After covering the list of cons Melissa covers the list of pros of dating an older woman. There are three items on this list as well. The first pro is titled, “Boy Toy”. Older women who are in search for a younger man are usually women who just got out of a marriage or is not really looking for anything serious. Sometimes it can be both reasons. These type of women also just want to add some spice to their life. By dealing with an older woman, guys can learn some new skills in the bedroom and “who is no longer sexually inhibited and knows what she wants in the bedroom”, according to Melissa. With that being said, she will be more open to try new things and is not afraid to express her sexuality. The second pro listed is titled, “she’s over it”. This title means that older women are more confident than younger women since they lived long enough to work on any insecurities they once had. And lastly the third pro of dating an older woman is titled, “go for it”. Technically there were only two pros listed for men dating an older woman. In the section titled, “go for it”. Melissa advises to go through the pros and cons and you decide whether it’s worth dealing with an older woman. So I guess it’s your turn to be the judge.
According to EliteSingles, they found that men who are around the ages of 20 and 29 are more likely to prefer dating older women when they completed a study of over 45,000 online daters that was created on their site. In a previous study made by OkCupid a few months before EliteSingles released their article, they found that an important characteristic men really wanted in women was youthfulness and women over the age of 22 was seen as less attractive to men. In their study they did not specialized the type of people who were included in these studies so we wouldn’t be able to come up with any reasons why men wouldn’t find a 23 year old woman or older more or equally attractive than a woman who is 22 and under. The OkCupid study mentioned that men are probably fearful that “aging keeps women from grappling like a rabid vampire for a woman young enough to be their daughter or granddaughter”. Well according to the recent study, that just might not be true after all. Men around the ages of 20 and 29 finds both younger and older women attractive. For men who are in their 20s, they find women who are around eleven years older than them still attractive and datable. In the same study women who prefer to date older men, the reasonable gap in age between partners remained eleven years apart. EliteSingles came up with the conclusion on why OkCupid and EliteSingles reported two different results. EliteSingles says that their results were different from one another because it has to do will society changing. When OkCupid made their study, men were most likely to date women who were younger than them. As times change women have receive more responisiblities than women had decades before. Sam Owen, who is a psychologist, says that the reason for the increase interest in older women from younger guys is because they are now noticing how older women are able to juggle a lot of responsibilities such as their career, taking care of their children, and housekeeping. Even though men will usually date women who are between eleven years younger or eleven years older; older women around the age of 50 will date an older man who is between six years. When it comes to older women dating younger men they will usually date someone who are between three years younger than themselves according to this research.
So when it comes to people who like to date older people it seems as though there are more reasons why both women and men choose to do so than what was once believed to be. Out of all the reasons combined having someone who was mentally mature, who is financially stable, and someone who had more life experiences came on top as the main reasons why men and women found older people attractive and datable compared to people around their age and younger. It was once believed that women only dated older men because older men are successful in their career and men only dated older women for their advance sexual experiences, but as we found out in this article those are just stereotypes that doesn’t go for everyone. In the article we also covered examples of people and why they choose to date someone who is older than them. One person in particular mentioned that they wanted someone who was financially stable and she mostly found that quality with older men. Others mentioned that the person’s age had little to do with the reason why they became attracted to the person they were dating. Overall, age has little to do with why people choose or prefer to date an older person.
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